Vocations, Religious or Otherwise

Looking up in St. James Park, London | April 2010

Sunday evening, there was a guest priest at the church I was visiting. His homily focused primarily on his hopes that gentlemen would hear God's call to the church.

***Now, before I continue, I just want to level with you. I'm Catholic. I was baptized Catholic, I was raised Catholic and I went to a Catholic high school. However, I struggle with the "rules" of my religion every day. Is Catholicism perfect? No, not by any means. Do I question the church's standings on certain situations? Yes, but I do so in hopes to better understand my faith and my religion. There are some things about the Catholic teachings that have me ebbing, when I should be flowing, however, like many things in life, it's in study and practice when you truly understand. So, I won't force my religious opinions or beliefs on you. I'll just share them.***

So back to Sunday. The priest -- I apologize, I have forgotten his name -- discussed vocations. While he was focusing on vocations to the church, I edited his message in way that applies to me a little more.

Personally, I don't feel called to the church to serve as a Sister. I played house for countless hours as child and I hope to have family of my own one day. To a certain extent, I believe being a mother is one of my vocations. Nevertheless, I feel that there might be something more, but how do I know what it is? And how can I be sure? How is anyone sure?

I'm a thinker, I'm an over-analyzer, and in some ways, that makes me a doubter. But I don't want to doubt the big things. I want to know. But I ask all of you out there, how did you know? How did you know that what you're doing and what you're striving for is your vocation?

The priest's answer would be prayer, and I've prayed. God may have given me a sign, but of course, I question and analyze if anything can be taken as a sign, leaving me more confused than where I started. So what else can I add to this recipe? Is this a one of those "Leap and the net shall appear" situations? That's a pretty big leap, if you ask me. Perhaps it's one of those, "Let the pieces fall where they may" or "Trust that God will lead you where you need to go." Ultimately, I trust Him, but a little insight wouldn't hurt every now and then. It also wouldn't hurt to know for sure my Heavenly vocation. 

Sincerely,

Cybill