Random Oddities

1. Having a friend to talk to about the big stuff, the stuff that isn't dinner table appropriate, but is important is a good thing. Having a friend who has different opinions to talk to about the big stuff, the stuff that isn't dinner table appropriate, but is important is a better thing.

2. Taking a nap on a Saturday afternoon is a good a idea. Sometimes when the world gets too heavy and the winds roar loud, the best thing to do is take a nap.

3. "You can and will stress yourself out more than anyone else ever will. Cut yourself a little slack, stop trying to burn eighty candles at eighty ends, and try to remember that how you react to something is as much a catalyst for stress as the thing itself." — Ella Ceron, 20 Truths That Will Make Your Life Easier in Your 20s

4. Once someone flakes on you, it becomes something you expect. It's the sad truth, but keeping plans goes beyond simply doing something. It shows the kind of respect you have for the other person and how you value your time.

5. The right song, played at the right time will can do wonders for your mood, your happiness and your well-being. 

Sincerely, 

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Football, My Love, You're Back

You know that feeling you get, when you meet eyes with someone cute and they smile and your heart gets like warm butter on hot toast? Well, that's how I feel when Seminole football is back...only better.

You're probably aware of my excitement for the return of college football. I mean, I don't really try to hide it much less try to keep it a secret. You're also probably well aware of the team I support and the team I pledge my loyalty. Again, that's not much of a secret. Knowing that, you're probably well aware of my gratitude for the return of the college football season.

There is something to be said about college football. The amount of money that is involved in the sport is staggering, especially in respect to the fact these athletes aren't considered professionals and really, aren't suppose to receive a cut. Yes, they do receive nice perks by being on the team, but it all comes at a cost.

While most college students can disregard their alarm clock in the morning, football players and really any athlete are tied to it like a ball and chain. Waking up early to work their bodies into great machines to win important games. But they're also working to win more than that game and the games to follow. They're working to win the approval of their teammates, the approval of their coaches and the approval of their respected college community. If they drop the ball, they lost the game. However, if at the end, we stand victorious, we are the winners.

It's easy to think the cost of being a college athlete is easily overweighed by the perks, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Walking around campus as a celebrity isn't necessarily glamorous. Knowing you walk into an environment with a target on your back and on your chest isn't the most comforting. To go out on the field, week after week, it's a feat.

As the season begins, with each team standing level with one another, each with the same the number of wins compared to loses, I want to take a second in gratitude. I want to thank them for their early mornings and tough practices. I want to thank them for playing to win and putting it all on the line. And finally, I want to thank them for playing the game we all love to play and watch.

Go Seminoles!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit//GIF Credit}

There's No Crying in PR

...unless it's the end of the day, you're back in your apartment and alone.

I guess this deserves some explanation.

Friday afternoon was like any other Friday afternoon in the office. Everyone was at their desk, fingers dancing across their keyboard to get what needed to be drafted, delivered and finalized out of their inbox and off of their to-do list to make it out of the office by four o'clock. Four o'clock Fridays were drawing to an end and with only two (including that particular Friday) left, it was a dream to get out as close to four as possible.

So why the tears, you ask?

Well, I had a review that afternoon; and I look forward to reviews like a bug looks forward to the windshield of a car.

Holding back tears while being told I need to "work on my confidence," "be careful about being too creative" and really trying to "own things," I couldn't help but get pulled back to my time in New York.  My family and friends will tell you I was not a happy camper in the big apple. I wasn't even close. I use strong words like "hate" and "disgust" to plainly allude to feelings that have only left a reminisce of my self-esteem in the working world. I had been bent and broken. I had been burned and shredded. Forever scared, with a bitter aftertaste that sits in the back of your throat like an ex-boyfriend's name.

Sitting in that conference room, I was once again "too much" while being "not enough." My edges were sharp, but in the wrong places. My accent marks punctuated the wrong part of the word. My kick of the ball landing it in the wrong goal. My efforts had been too strong in the wrong direction.

While the feedback stems from hopes of improvement, its flower perfumes a smell of disappointment. I left feeling more vulnerable than when I entered, than when I even started. Hunched from the weighted of the "criticism" I came back to my apartment and cried. I cried like that baby I really am, because let's be real...I have no idea what the heck I'm doing.

So what better thing to do then get it all down on this blog. Pour it all out and turn each piece over. One-by-one. Carefully, I'll find the pieces that connect. I'll build my boarder and piece together my picture. I will always be too much for some people. My accent forever a bit off. But I refuse to dull my edges and weaken my efforts. Those will stay as they are and the other parts of me will just learn to be as sharp and as strong, because there is no crying in PR.

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Priority

"Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority,' and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: 'I'm not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it's not a priority.' 'I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.' If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently."

— Laura Vanderkam, Are You As Busy As You Think?

{Photo Credit}

You Play Ball like a Girl

Whether or not you follow the Little League World Series or sports in general, you'd better get yourself acquainted with Mo'Ne Davis. The talented 13-year-old is making a name for herself and paving a way for girls to take over the world. While Beyonce has been singing about the girls running the world, Mo'Ne Davis is showing up the mound to show she can run the world of sports. 

Though I'm not the type to be overly vocal about my beliefs that women aren't just dainty little flowers that need to be protected, I don't hide the fact that I aspire to be a strong and independent woman. Perhaps this stems from my youth, growing up as one of the few girls on my street and one of two who would play tag football with the guys. Regardless of where, when or why, it's great when you see girls, especially young girls, give it all they got to be a girl on top of a man's world. 

To all my sisters out there, whatever you do, bring it. And bring like a girl. There will be a day when "You play ball like a girl," will be the compliment of all compliments and perhaps that day is sooner than we expect. 

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

Lessons For My Daughter

When you start college...

It's August, which only means one thing (okay, two if you count the beginning of the college football season). School is right around the corner and many young girls are packing their bags to begin the wild ride that is college. One day, you'll be packed and nervously excited, awaiting the beginning of amazing expedition. Thinking back to my four years are Florida State University, it's hard to say what I loved most and hold as my deepest regret. But last night, when my roommate asked me for some advice she can share with her cousin, it got me thinking about some of the best takeaways unearthed outside the classroom.

1. Low maintenance friends of high quality are the best friends. The amount of push and pull that happens within the span of four years can be daunting. The pressures of deciding a career path, pursuing goals and embracing the mistakes that turns into lessons are best managed with a group of friends that just get you — no make-up, no fuss, no inhibitions. Find them. Trust in them. Grow with them. Finding the right people who will frame your memories without cluttering the picture is a true treasure and a gem to be kept forever.

2. Study abroad. Study abroad for a semester, for the summer or for the whole year. Live, grow and learn in a new country with different smells, different languages and different people. There is a lot of stretching, leaning and yearning in college and in your early twenties. Do it in a different country and collect stories of places far from home. I'll miss you, but I know the growing you'll do abroad will open and fill your eyes with spark to better see the world and live your passion.

3. Go out on a school night. Alright, this one I advise with some reservation, but I will say, it's okay to go out on a school night. You're young, so do it now while you're body can still rally the next day. When you have an exam the next day, it's probably best to stay in (though it isn't completely off the table). I trust your judgement and trust me, you'll always be surprised by the people you meet and the relationships that form on those random school nights out.

4. Go beyond the college town. Drive two hours west to go camping. You've flown halfway around the world to surround yourself with the unfamiliar and continue to do that in any way possible. It probably won't be the same. It won't have the same kind of sparkle, but it'll open your eyes to something beyond the every day. Tell yourself you're going to do this and then do it.

5. Live for now, but work for tomorrow. Live and study. It's a balance. It's a give and take, a push and pull that will take a little while to fully grasp. But learn how to do everything you want to do and everything you have to do early. There will be sacrifices, but at the end of your four years in college, if properly done, you'll have a great future to look forward to and great friends to share it with as you reminisce on great memories.

Sincerely,

Cybill

The Anatomy of My Not So Romantic Meet Cute

In your twenties, you'll come to find a number of your friends, classmates and acquaintance begin to settle down and get married. It can be a little weird. One minute you're in school and the next minute, they took Beyonce's advice and put a ring on it. Anyways, I'm not complaining. I love weddings! I mean, who doesn't love a party where you get all dolled up and celebrate the love between two people? I'm such a sap.

Wedding talk aside, I have to say, I really enjoy hearing about how two people met and  how they almost didn't. It almost makes you wonder if there is such a thing as fate. Do soulmates really exist? Can the meeting of two people really be kismet? 

In June, I had my own rub with fate. In a small way, I had my own meet-cute. But don't call Katherine Heigl just yet. This is no Rom-Com.

Setting
I was traveling to Portland from Orlando for my cousin's wedding. Waking up around 2:30 a.m. Thursday morning, I had packed, got myself to the airport and made it as a stand-by passenger on the first flight to Chicago. My early start had afforded me smooth sailing and about two hours to eat breakfast in O'Hare International Airport. However, my two and half hour layover morphed into five and a half hours thanks to a three hour delay. One croissant, small coffee, almond pretzel, over-priced water bottle, small bag of trail-mix and three hours later, we were finally boarding the flight to Portland. It was a four and a half our flight and I had a middle seat.

I thank the powers of God and the universe for joining together, because as soon as I reached my row, the lucky girl who had window seat had asked me if I wanted to trade seats with her friend a few rows back. Homegirl had a window seat and it didn't really take much convincing. Window seat for a four hour and a half our flight?! WIN! All that was next was for me to pull my FSU baseball hat low over my eyes and embrace the nap ahead of me, but where's the romance in that?

The Meet-Cute
Enter Tyler. We'll call him Tyler, because, well...that's his name. In he walks, excusing himself past Jerry (the 17-year-old who attends a snowboarding high school — snowboarding high schools are real) and wearing an Oregon Ducks hoodie. Without too much hesitation, I asked him if he attended the University of Oregon and conversation quickly turned to college football. With my alma mater, the Florida State University Seminoles winning the National Championship earlier this year, the topic of conversation is probably no surprise. But what surprised me was how long Tyler and I talked and what we talked about.

Thinking back, I think we pretty much touched on almost everything. We discussed and suggested books and movies, learned about jobs and places traveled, traded sibling stories and even touched on the topic of sex and joining the mile-high club (not with each other, what kind of girl do you think I am?!). It was strange and in a way, comforting. There's something about meeting someone and simply talking and trading stories. They have no idea who you are and you haven't a clue about them.

At the end of the flight, we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

The End of the Rom-Com, Maybe?
Now, you're probably wondering what happened. Did we meet up one day and frolic around the city, taking adorable pictures worthy of any pre-teen magazine? No. We didn't. He invited me to hang out with his friends Saturday evening, but that was my cousin's wedding day and an opportunity to catch up with my family whom I haven't seen in months. The choice was easy, but perhaps a small part of me wonders what could have happened if I snuck away for an hour and a drink.

A few members of my glam fam. 

Relationship Status
Our relationship status (and I'm not talking about Facebook "Relationship Status") is friends...ish. Perhaps we're more distant friends or simply acquaintances. We're two ships passing in the night, or maybe more like two plans passing in flight.

We've texted a bit here-and-there, but that's kind of it. It's the end of the meet-cute. The rom-com without the rom...and perhaps the com. The beginning, "middle" and abrupt end, leaving you with what-ifs and what could have been. 

Youthful Optimism
Meet-cutes are real! Rare, but real. They happen, and while you may not realize it at the time, it's great story to share with girlfriends. Yes, the what-ifs can drive you mad, but as a lover of love, this does give me a little hope...and who knows, maybe this isn't the end of the "Rom-Com." His Oregon Ducks may find themselves matched up against my Seminoles...and that would be a great next chapter to this story.

I should also add, Portland and the surround area is a really pretty place to visit.

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit//Personal//Personal//Personal//Tyler}

Some

"Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it."

— Michelle K, Some

2014 Goals...Made in August

It's August and my attempts at blogging have failed miserably. I think I posted one post in the month of July. Where does all the time go? I think it's spent at work or sleeping. Lately, that's all I feel I do, but I've promised to be kinder to myself. Yes...napping is something kind to gift myself, but so is living life and that latter is far more adventurous. With that in mind, I'm going to greet the rest of 2014 with a few goals. Some are a little silly, but all are hopeful.

1. Staying up late to live a litte more. Since I began my new job, I've been so set in my way of sleeping at decent hour. I love to sleep. I love being in my pajamas and just cuddling in my bed. However, that's not what life is about. My goal is sleep a little later...perhaps an hour or so (let's not get crazy, I do have to work the next day) and just do a little more, even if it's something small, like reading a book or watching a movie.

2. Calling, not texting. Some of my friends can probably attest to this. I do like to chat and if you need someone to talk to for an hour during your drive, give me a call. However, this doesn't mean I do it with everyone. More often than not, I'll settle for texting someone, but it just seems to lackluster. Hearing someone's voice and being able to give your full attention to talk with someone on the phone holds so much more value.

3. Sitting up straight. Silly and small, but considering I sit at my desk for most of the day, it's probably best that I work on my posture. I have an awful posture and I should really do something about it, especially since I have scoliosis.

4. Turning to prayer for my answers. I'm a girl with a bunch of questions that never really seem to get answered. Lately, I've found that some of my questions don't even have clean-cut defined answers as much as I ask others and as much as I think about it. When it comes to that, clearly, the only way to get my answer is through prayer and through Christ. There's really no better way.

5. Enjoying the beautiful angelic morning. One Sunday evening, not too long ago, I remember dreading the idea of having to wake up and go into work the following morning. I had no real reason, I just didn't want to do it. Then I realized, it's a waste of my energy and my emotions. The way you feel about something really does play a major role in how things work out, and as silly as it sounds, it really is best to go into things excited, happy and grateful about life!

Okay, enough motivational mumbo-jumbo from me. I have to indulge in life a litte more before I really feel inspiring!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

You're Going to be Fine

"Sometimes you're 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You're just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you're reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don't feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but 'Mom's' probably wouldn't feel like home anymore either. There used to be comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you'll never be this young again but this is the first time you've ever been this old. When you can't remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee's done. You're going to breathe in and out. You're going to be fine in about five minutes." 

— Unknown

{Photo Credit}

And Here We Are Again

I'm still here. I'm still alive. This blog may be on life support, but it's not dead.

These past few weeks have fun-ish a ride. Some ups, definitely some downs and ultimately, I'm standing here, confused as to which direction is the right direction, and whether there is a right direction at all. 

So, I've stayed in Orlando over the weekend a few times now. I've tried that whole "explore where you live" thing. Two evenings in a row, I even went out downtown to check out Orlando's nightlight, and perhaps made a few "friends" (let's use that term loosely). But don't ask me if I'm in love yet (or possibly ever). I may just laugh...out loud and in your face. 

Now, don't get me wrong. Staying in town and going out, having brunch the next day, that was all fun. But, most of the reasons I enjoyed myself was because of the company, and isn't that how it usually goes? One of my closest friends from college was in town and the two of us, along with another girlfriend of ours from college checked out the Orlando nightlight. Short evening short, we ended up calling it a night around midnight. Clearly, we can't hang the way we used to in college. 

Anyways, there's that side of the Orlando life and then there is what takes up most of my time, work. Work has been keeping be busy. It's the reason I get up at the hour I do. The company I have at work is great. Truth be told, if it wasn't for the company and all the fun stuff, it'd definitely make things far more difficult. And I say that with a few things in mind, so here me out...

Day-after-day, we're constantly working to please our clients. It's the nature of the beast. Yet, week-after-week, they don't seem happy with what we're delivering. Can we do more? Perhaps. But do we have the resources? No, we don't. And I'm starting to loose all hope in it and once again, I'm second guessing my "career" choice. 

Is there a reason I should keep on trying to please these people who never seem grateful? Is there even a point to it at the end of the day? What I do, it doesn't make anyone breathe easier. I don't go to bed at night knowing that someone's life is better because of what I did that day and I'm starting to second guess if this what I want to turn into a career?

Ultimately, I know that my answer is No. But until I'm through with this lease on my apartment and I figure out a plan to change things, I guess this is the game to play.

{Photo Credit}

Cultivate. Understand. Expand.

"Decide today to stretch yourself. Take on a goal that you had previously given up on. Get lost doing something you love. Cultivate happiness within yourself. Understand and know that life isn't just about what you do. It's about how you serve and what you give! Go within yourself to grow outside yourself. Expand your comfort zone." 

— Unknown

{Photo Credit}

Owning Up

Hi everyone. I know, I know. I'm an awful blogger. Considering my last blog post was April 24 and it's now May 5th (Happy Cinco de Mayo, by the way), it's plain to see that I'm not a frequent flyer on this blog. And while that is true, there's more to the story than that. There's not that much more, though. Truth be told, I'm usually just tired when I get back from work most days and I decide to nap instead of blog. There is also that fact that the hours seem to fly by. Seriously, it's practically 8 p.m. and I feel like I got back to my apartment not too long ago.

Anyways, let's me try to tell you about something interesting! This weekeend, I visited my lovely roommate (college roommate) and friend, Carling! I guess it comes at no surprise that I didn't stick around Orlando. Since I've started working downtown, I've stayed in Orlando once. Yes, you read that correctly, once...and I started working here in March. But that's besides the point...

I spent this past weekend in Jacksonville and it was great! It was nice being with really good friends. There's a level of comfort when getting together with an old friend. They know you and you know them. There is no need to apologize for burping or question whether or not they have something in their closet you can steal; you already know the answer. And, I've realized, living alone...the laughs and simple day-to-day friendship makes a hard day so much better.

While in Jacksonville, I also got to spend some time with my friend, Dan. Now, before you get into thinking the relationship between Dan and I is anything but platonic, let me stop you. Dan and I are friends, and we'll never end up together, despite what a few of my coworkers believe. Aside from that, spending time with Dan and Carling (as well as some of our friends) was great! I actually have friends, despite what it feels like while I'm in Orlando.

That, ladies and gentlemen, was my weekend. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, but everything I needed this weekend. Time with good friends and good bit of food!

I should probably add the small fact that the large amount of food continued onto today. We had a Cinco de Mayo potluck at work and let me tell you...I wanted nothing more than to crawl under the conference room and nap after lunch. SO. MUCH. FOOD. But really, it was great!

Alrighty, I should probably go...but skip a real dinner. Considering everything I ate, I should just look at food and call it a night. I'll see about getting better about updating...and perhaps living a life worth sharing!

Sincerely,

Cybill 

Little Things

It's crazy how the little things in life can cause joy and anger. Little things and simple things can take their toll and lighten the load. It's all mad and it's magic. This morning it took a bit of effort for me to really focus on the wonder than the worry. It took a couple deep breaths, but I'm always amazed at the results when you defend the silver lining.

In light of my get-up-and-dance mood, I thought I'd share some of my little things in life — of the happy variety.

1. Listening to the right song. The kind of song that causes you dance in your chair (or get up and dance), smile and take a deep breath, because life is good and everything is going to be okay. 
2. A kind word. The smallest compliment at the right time during a rough day can do wonders for the mind, body, soul and spirit. Keep those kind words handy, because sometimes, you'll have to be your own messager and the receiver. 
3. A photo of something funny, of something heartwarming or simply, someone that makes you smile. It's always great to have a photo of some sort in your back pocket, but today, stumbling upon a photo definitely brought a smile to my face. 
4. Someone who'll ask you what's wrong and listen, really listen. These people are few and far between, but when you find them, hold onto them, because they are the good people. 
5. Laughing, at anything and everything. Pretending to laugh just to get yourself to start laughing works as well. Granted, you might come off a little crazy, but when you need to bounce back, you do what you have to do to bounce back. 

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! 

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

{GIF Credit}

Difference Maker

"You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make." 

— Jane Goodall

{Photo Credit: Jane Goodall. National Geographic, 1974}

Semi-Unexpected Conversations

Today, I feel like it's common to reply to a voicemail and missed call with a text message. Typically those responses read, "Hey, what's up?" or "Sorry I missed you're call. What's up?" No one believes in talking on the phone. So, this afternoon, when I received a call from my London GC, (graduate counselor, the London equivalent to an RA) Justin, I was pleasantly surprised.

Aside from a few text messages during holidays, a "Happy Birthday" post on Facebook and an occasional "Hey, where are my pictures?" message, Justin and I don't talk. Whatever we had resembling a friendship while I was in college dwindled to an idle "relationship" (of the non-romantic, essentially non-existent type) where small talk and labels of "acquaintance" clung to our chest before gliding to the ground.

This afternoon, during our chat, I wouldn't say it was necessarily so idle. Don't get your hopes up or anything. Feelings of love or secret admiration and heartfelt devotion didn't flow out of either of us the Niagara Falls. Rather, it was more of an older distant cousin sharing some advice to a girl starting off on her own. During our chat, I learned a few things...

1. When he was a kid, Justin wanted to be a banker of some sort. Kid was dreaming big. I guess not everyone aspires to being a Philanthropist, but the world needs its bankers. 
2. The intensity of the travel bug dies down...for some. I guess it's the old adage, "Different strokes for different folks," and it applies to travel. Justin, who's been a good number of places, is calling it Pause on his escapades abroad. Is there really such a thing as calling it Pause? Won't you be in a forever state of wanderlust?!
3. Some people aspire to retire with $1 million dollars, other people just aspire. I totally understand the desire to retire with the padding of a loaded bank account. However, I never wanted to work because of the money. I never wanted to do anything because of the money. Granted, there are some things I do because of the money (Hey, I need to pay my bills), but I also don't dream of retiring with that much padding. Perhaps, it's because part of me hopes to have a career that doesn't feel like work. It's the part of me that hopes to love what I do so much, I can't imagine ever taking a step back or taking it a notch down. Again, it's that old adage. 

Ultimately, that chat with Justin, though unexpected and perhaps a bit odd, was a nice treat to my Monday. I was reminded that I don't have to have things figured out right now and my quarter-life crisis really has yet to happen. I guess that means I've got a good bit to look forward to and perhaps a few more unexpected conversations, semi or otherwise. 

Sincerely, 

Cybill

Tribulations Never Told

At one point or another I'm sure we've all been there. We've reached a point during the day when the only thing to make anything and everything better would be for the day to end...or a nap. I'm sure during a solo drive or two, we've all been moved to emotional exhaustion that tears or screaming obscurities at the top of our lungs is a rational reaction. We've all been there. We've all been in the gutter, but we smile like we're among the stars.

These past to weeks have been rough, but not in the typical sense. Work hasn't been stressful. If anything, it's been oddly calm and I've been scratching and digging for things to do. However, it's been a blessing, because I haven't been feeling all too great. I don't know what it is exactly. My Mom and I think my body is still fighting my sickness from August and after some blood work, my doctor (not Mr. MD from the ER) doesn't know what's wrong with me. One thing for sure, I'm not 100%. Last week, I had a low grade fever and would end the day in bundled up buried under my blanket. Most of my evenings after work this week were spent the same way. I'd be so tired, when I'll come back to my apartment, I'd nap, skip dinner (because I'm so tired) and just sleep until I have to get up the next morning for work.

However, despite not feeling like I'm on my A-game, I dared not tell anyone at work. I'm not one who likes feelings of pity, nor am I someone who wants that kind of attention. I know a few people who like so, and while we're not riding that same wave length, I won't judge...at least, I won't judge out loud and on this blog. Ultimately, it's just not my thing and I don't want to feel like my co-workers think I can't hang. I also don't want them to feel guilty and tell me to go home, when clearly I can work through things. Hopefully, I'll be feeling loads better soon so I can get into a regular blogging schedule. Today was a good start, let's hope there is more to come!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Back to Blogging & Back to Basics

Hello all! I'm back to blogging. I apologize for not posting since March 10th, but in my defense I've been all over the place and never really anywhere at all. I've been up in the air so much so that I think I'll just take this post to catch everyone up on my life and all of its "struggles." 

Last time I posted, I was currently in the state of homelessness, though I wasn't exactly homeless. I had already started working at the agency in Orlando (which I'm really feeling, by the way) but nailing down an apartment proved to be the hassle of all hassles. I experienced a new level of stress, working, looking at places, contacting my realtor and applying to rent. This was the struggle until I visited the apartment complex a new friend from work called home. 

Stacey and I started working in the agency on the same day with the same role, though on different teams. Unlike myself, Stacey was settled in an apartment and well versed in the lay of the Or-LAND-o (see what I did there?). With some fair warning ("It's an older building..."), I visited her apartment and scheduled a meeting and tour with the property manager Friday morning. Arriving about an hour late to work (all pre-approved by my boss) I finally had a place to live, and a rather large place at that!

Unfortunately, I was unable to move into my apartment that weekend. Due to some delays in paperwork (not all offices like to work during the weekends, forcing people who work during normal business hours to run around with their heads cut off) I didn't move into my apartment until Wednesday afternoon the following week. With the help of my friend, Justin (who moved the one large box I brought with me and couldn't move on my own) I moved into "La Casa de Cybill" (unofficial name). That weekend, my parents drove up from home bringing up a few things, but it got even better. 

It may be an overlooked kitchen appliance, but it's a rude awakening when you realize your new apartment doesn't come with a microwave. Thus, while my parents were in town, a microwave was a high priority on the list. I am proud to say, I am an owner of a microwave! I also have a kitchen table and a chair and a half built — I no longer picnic on the floor.

While my apartment is very empty, I am in no rush to furnish it (though I'd love to have a grey couch to lounge after long days at work). Part of the reason is the simple fact that I can't afford it (it's a hard knock life, yo) and at the same time, part of me fears really setting down roots. If I ain't got nothing, I got nothing holding me back. It's my fear of commitment, fear of missing out and ever present wanderlust. Maybe, as time goes by, I'll settle down with a couch and perhaps paint a wall. It'll limit the room I have to dance around, but this is a good thing, right...? 

If I ain't got nothing, I'm footloose and fancy free.

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

{Picture Credit}

Week Two & Still Homeless

So began my second week at work. At the same time, so began my second week staying in an extended stay. Have I grown accustomed to this place and is it home? No. It's hard for an extended stay to really feel like "home," but after a day's work, I guess you can say it's close enough.

Let's take today for example. It was a long and busy day, but not in a bad way. The work kept flowing and I was able to get a lot done. Unfortunately, that meant I didn't leave the office until a little past six. Upon arriving at my extended, I proceeded to take off my pants and switch into my pajama pants. I swear, if that is not one of the first things you do when you get "home" you don't know what comfortable means. I then followed the change in outfit to microwaving dinner and sitting on the couch, with my feet propped up and watching Jeopardy, all while eating dinner. It sounds scandalous, and let me tell you, it really wasn't. It's not 9:28 p.m. and I'm sitting in bed, updating my blog before I go to bed. You must think my life is riveting. Not!

You know what is riveting! The saga that is renting in the Orlando area. Update time! Friday afternoon, I got a call from my relator informing me that the tenant who was living in the unit I'm currently working on renting moved out two days before. Two days! Thus, I'm led to conclude that they have been peeing on my back and telling me it's raining, figuratively speaking. At that moment, I instructed my relator to start looking at other options, because let's be real, I wanted to move into a place weeks ago...

In the light of all of this, I've realize I can handle unfortunate situations longer than I expected, or perhaps I'm getting really good at telling people it's not bothering me. I may also just be really good an avoiding my problems and hoping that things work themselves out eventually. Or I choose to avoid discussing my problems with strangers too much, because I don't want to be that girl. I don't really know, but I do know this, I've been working on my heavy breathing, because I refuse to be pushed to stress induced tears (again).

Anyways, I hope to update you all with good news before the end of the week! Come on, Kefi, find me a place to live! Oh, and if it's not with the complex I've been working on trying to rent, I'm totally cool with that too...they haven't really been the most hospitable of unites...

Namaste, y'all. Namaste.

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

It'll Make For A Great Story One Day

"It'll make for great story one day" and "it could be worse" have been my motto for weeks. Reason being, the rental struggle is still a struggle.

Let's back track and pick up where I left off. That second place I started to work on renting, well, I'm still working on renting it. As it turns out, the number of loops that I need to jump through are ridiculous and the day I'll finally be able to move is unknown. There is a chance I won't be able to move in until the end of March. Goodness, I hope I can move in before then.

Since I don't have a place to stay and I started work Monday, I've been forced to stay in an extended stay hotel. It's not ideal, but it could be worse. (I told you I use that line often.) The extended stay is a little bit of a drive to the office, but it isn't too crazy and the traffic hasn't made me want to curl up and cry, so again, it could be worse.

Now, I have to call it a night. I still need to pack my lunch and get ready for another day's work. I miss the afternoon naps during my unemployed life. The working world, boy and girls. At least we're getting paid!

Sincerely,

Cybill

P.S.
I actually decided to hit the hay before I uploading the GIF. Hence the delayed post. I'm not working a night shift and sleeping during the day.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

{GIF Credit}

Renting Is A Struggle

Trying to find a place, renting it and moving is a struggle, y'all. And it is real. In a matter of two days my feelings of moving to a new city have developed into the feelings of moving to new state. That state is the State of Anxiety.

Hit one. After submitting my rental application and dropping my deposit at the post office, I received an email informing me the property was no longer available. Seriously? Why did I go through all the trouble of sending and scanning the application? Why couldn't you have told me you received and application you were going to accept. Not cool, dude.

Let's just say, after receiving this email, I wanted nothing more than to curl back up in my bed and possibly cry. I didn't cry though. Instead, I curled up on the couch for a bit and then began to search for another place. I also contacted the realtor I've been speaking to, with the hopes that he knew of other one bedroom apartments.

Holla! Cory (the realtor) came through! Though where I'm living will turn out to be more expensive (this apartment isn't furnished & cable, electricities and the like aren't included in the monthly rent) there are some positives. I'll be a lot closer to the office. So close, in fact, that I'll be able to walk to work. While the Florida heat may not be favorable for that, I'd feel silly driving when I'll be living half a mile (or a 10 minute walk) away. Another plus! There is a washer and dryer in the unit. I don't know about you guys, but that's practically like gold to me. Reason in being, you can do laundry whenever you want and as someone who likes the option of doing laundry at any hour and wearing old beat up pajamas it's gold. Real gold! However, this is more to this story...

Hit two. General rental applications is a hit to an already bruised ego. I totally get the need for a credit check, but when you know I'm currently unemployed and moving to a new city for work, you'd think you'd get a direct answer to the questions I've asked. Wrong. I've been asking the same questions over and over and receiving little feedback. There's also the emails that include include a suggested solution to keep the process moving froward. Let's pick up the up take, people!

Despite all of this, I'm trying to stay optimistic. Something has to work out, right? Besides, it's only Wednesday and while my hopeful move-in date is quickly approaching, there is still time to light a fire under someone's butt...or call them crying.

I also want to go ahead and apologize now. I feel as if I sound like one of those girls. You know the type. Their Facebook is nothing more than a constant stream of complaints in regard to how their life is so hard and their cry for pity is palpable. I don't want to be one of those girls. I want to be someone who figures things out. I want to be someone who takes the advice of Tim Gun and who "makes it work." So, that's what I'm going to do...or what I've been doing while drafting this blog post — I've been replying to emails from the realtor and asking additional questions.

I'm going to share some GREAT news with you guys soon. I promise. It's the year of Kefi and this problem isn't going to stay a problem!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{GIF Credit//GIF Credit//GIF Credit}

Marco? Polo! I'm Still Here.

Hi everyone! I feel like I've been M.I.A. for a bit and I guess, to a certain extent I have, but with good reason!

Not too long ago I mentioned accepting a job in downtown Orlando and everything I had to do and everywhere I had to go before that started. Update time!

Last weekend I went to New Jersey to pick the majority of my work clothes (which pretty much means most of my pants, jeans and dresses) as well as a good number of my shoes and most of my winter clothes. I've been without a good portion of my wardrobe it almost feels new to me! I won't complain though. A "new" wardrobe at no cost at all...heyyy! Anyways, while I was in New Jersey, I was quickly reminded of how cold the north can get in the winter (and this winter is far worst than it was when I lived there)! I was there for three days and my hands are still dry and recovering, regardless of how much lotion I used to protect them. Clearly, I'm made for a warmer climate.

This past weekend, my parents and I drove to Orlando to apartment hunt. Let me just preface this right now with, "I'm not crazy about apartment hunting." I guess, it's due to the fact that nothing is perfect and I feel like wherever you rest your head and recharge your batteries should be real close to perfect. At the same time, figuring out the numbers with rent and how far you're willing to live in order to find cheaper rent is not that easy for me. All the numbers just start to blur together and I was never good at numbers.

Anyways, with all of that in mind, I've found the place that I'd like to recharge my batteries after a days work. Now, comes the part where I wait for the renter to get back with me. This is like interviewing for a job and waiting to hear back. I never had too much patience (I would discretely unwrap presents and put them back together again before Christmas), but I have no choice...the ball isn't in my court anymore. Hopefully, I'll hear back soon and I won't have to fear being homeless in Orlando. I'll make sure to update all of you as things progress!

Happy Monday!

Sincerely,

Cybill

Things I Don't Understand (and I Don't Think I Ever Will)

1. Economics. Supply and demand, I understand. Take it beyond that and I'm lost. I took an economics class in high school and again in college. During both occasions, it was an uphill battle. Not only was I simply not interested, I may have also dozed off during a class in college.

2. The need for people to leave comments in the likes of "Go F@#$ Yourself." Really? Why? What's the point of doing that? Do you feel better now? I mean, I totally get the whole "I don't agree with their ideas" but how does that comment change their opinion or help the situation? Please, enlighten me. I'm so lost!

3. How do people know?! This one is pretty general, but ultimately, I want in on this crystal ball everyone seems to have in their back pocket. Seriously! How do people know something is the thing they want to do for the rest of their lives?! How do people know the person they're with is the love of their life? How do people figure these things out?! Someone, please tell me.

4. Wanderlust-less. It's hard for me to understand the "why" behind comments such as, "I don't want to visit _______." I totally get it if you can't travel, but your lack of desire to travel and experience something completely different from your day-to-day is completely foreign to me. How can you look at pictures and read about Petra Jordan, the Holi Festival, Fjordlands National Park, South Island, New Zealand and not want to hop on a plane to experience this all for yourself?!

5. People who don't use their turn singles. I use my turn singles when even when I'm in the turning lane and I always use my turn singles when I change lanes. It's one way to let people know you need to get over to the next lane. It's also a nice way to say, "Hey, can you ease off the gas, I need to get that lane." I don't know about you, but I'll try my best to let people in front of me if they use their turn single.

6. People who speed up when you turn on your turn single. Seriously, dude, come on. I just politely informed you I needed to get over. I basically asked you. What do you do? You speed up. You do know, letting me in front of you doesn't leave you with a silver medal in the "Driving to the Grocery Store" event.

Well, folks, I'm off to go ponder these mysteries of life while I finish up my packing. It's a slow go when it comes to packing and once again, I won't be able to bring everything with me. So it's probably a good thing I don't need my heavy coats in Florida.

If you're up north, stay warm, but have a great week, wherever you are!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

The Different Ways to Say "I Love You"

Happy Valentine's Day! A holiday for the love birds, candy companies, florist and Hallmark greeting cards. But if you as me, I think it's a holiday for everyone and anyone, whether you're in love or not.

I once read there are a number of ways to say "I love you." "Text me when you get home," "Put on your seat belt," "I baked you some cookies," and "Thank you" are just a few examples that I think are right up there with "I love you." And you want to know what else? These words of affection aren't limited to those with whom you share romantic feelings. They can be for anyone and can happen anywhere.

Let's take the Olympics for example. It goes without saying, the Olympics, with all its pomp and circumstance, its triumphs and tribulations, the drama and the daring, there's always a story. A good story. A heart warming story. A story that transcends across countries and across generations. If you boil things down, you'll always notice the essence of love. Whether it's a person's love for their country, their sport or a litter of puppies, you'll see it.

US Slopestyle Skier and Olympic silver medalist, Gus Kenworthy has the power to melt the snow in the mountains of Sochi with his attempts to rescue a litter of puppies. Call him a dog lover and you can just call me in love, because who wouldn't fall in love with these pups after just one look?

Then there is the story of Canadian coach, Justin Wadsworth replacing the broken ski of Russian cross-country skier Anton Gafarov. Wadsworth was quoted saying, "I wanted him to have dignity as he crossed the finish line." There was definitely dignity and of course, compassion, both of which disregarded the boarders dividing countries and teams...something politics forgets.

As we're reaching the one week mark of the 2014 Olympic games, I'm sure more stories that capture the spirit of camaraderie during competition will arise. Hearts will break in defeat, but hopefully spirits in humanity will soar, because there are a million different ways to show someone you care. There are a million different ways to tell someone "I Love You," you just have to listen.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Sincerely, 

Cybill

{Photo Credit//GIF Credit}

The Road Ahead

There is a tide in the affairs of my life, ladies and gentlemen! And I'm taking it at the flood in hopes for good fortune. In short, this girl was offered a position with a PR agency in Orlando and I'm on the move.

In the next few weeks, I have a good bit of traveling, packing and moving to get done. To start things off, I have to fly to New Jersey to collect my clothes. (Quick back story on that one. When I flew home from NJ, I didn't check any bags and limited myself to a carry on. I left all of my winter clothes, jeans, a few blouses, shoes, etc.)

After a trip to New Jersey, I'll drive up to Orlando to apartment hunt. I have a few friends in Orlando that have been kind enough to let me bother them with a million and one questions. And can I just say, why is finding an apartment so difficult?! While I lived in an apartment in college, I didn't do much apartment hunting. My friends/roommates, Kallie & Carling hunted and landed our apartment while Colleen and I were in London. (Thank God for those two!) But now that I'm doing this on my own...it's not only not as much fun, it's a bit stressful. Finding, visiting and setting the budget is also overwhelming for this girl who is awful with numbers. (During a few occasions, I have been known to cry while trying to figure out my math homework.)

I'll take all of the nerves though. I mean, this is what I wanted, right? This is the Kefi Spirit I've been channeling since we rang in the new year. This is change and this is good. Scary, but good. But knowing me, I'll be scared (or maybe I should say nervous...yes, I'll be more nervous) about all of it until just before it happens. Then, for ten seconds that come out of no where, I'll be courageous. I'll think I'm bigger than I am and BAM! It'll all be second nature.

Sincerely,

Cybill

Push Back & Make Room

"I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortbale. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don't want to shrink back just because something isn't easy. I want to push back and make more room in the area between I can't and I can."

— Kristen Armstrong

{Picture Credit}

My Man Crush Monday

Because today is Monday and we could all use the eye candy and pick me up, I thought I'd share a few of gentlemen who always make my "Man Crush Monday" list (although I've never posted a #MCM photo on my Instagram, Twitter or Facebook — seriously, go check).

In no particular order (okay, maybe the first five are my absolute favorites), I present handsome men of the world. 

1. Sir Henry Cavill. So, he really isn't a "Sir," since he wasn't knighted by the Queen, but he's knighted in my book. Also, I fell for him the moment his face (and his butt) graced my television while I watched The Tudors (I think his character, Charles Brandon, was a knight). This was pre Man of Steel, so everyone can just back off. Fun fact: I wrote a paper about Charles Brandon (the real Charles Brandon), for my history class freshmen year of college. I'm being totally serious. 

2. Mark Wahlberg. Although Marky Mark had a childhood that would otherwise knock anyone else down on my list, for him, I'll make an exception. Besides, his childhood appeals to every woman's desire (though some women refuse to admit they have it) to be the girl that makes the bad boys good.

3. Taylor Kitsch. Perhaps I still miss Friday Night Lights (they had a premature end and I will fight anyone who tells me otherwise) or I'm avoiding the fact that I want to see Lone Survivor, but I don't want to see him die, but my oh my, Taylor Kitsch. He looks every bit the bad boy this girl would like to rebel with.

4. Kyle Chandler. Keeping in line with my love for Friday Night Lights, who didn't love Coach Taylor? His tough love attitude and the way his hair was always disheveled when it took of his baseball hat, sign me up for some Texas football! Connie Britton (and his real wife) are some very lucky ladies. 

5. Gregory Peck. Besides the fact that Mr. Peck is on the older side (and he has passed away, rest in peace), he's so handsome. Old Hollywood had it good when Mr. Peck was around and did you see him as Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird?!

I hope you enjoy the eye candy!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credits: Cavill//Wahlberg//Kitsch//Chandler//Peck}

Random Oddities

1. With northern America dealing with the Polar Vortex Mega Winterpocalypse Snowmageddon KillStorm 2014, endless amount of snow and numbing cold I'm so happy I call Florida home. The summers may be brutal and the heat may get monotonous, but there's something indescribably soothing about the sun warming your shoulders.

2. I miss the days of free yoga classes at the FSU's gym. Yoga in my living room just doesn't feel the same.

3. Some days you're the windshield, some days your the bug...and some days, you're just a small gust of wind away from breaking down. During those days, a nap is non-negotiable.

4. The statement "I like to keep my options open" relates to me on so many levels. Classic characteristic of an ENFP. (I suggest taking a Myers Briggs personality test. It'll provide some understanding to why you do the things you do.)

5. I've fallen in love with James Vincent McMorrow's "We Don't Eat" all over again. I consider it a good, "Relax, and let your worries flow downstream" kind of songs.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend! 

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Dick Wolf is a Boss

For all of you who know addictive television, I'm sure you've found yourself parked on your couch, watching episode after episode of Law & Order, or my personal preference, Law & Order: SVU. The mastermind behind those addictive television shows is a gentleman by the name of Dick Wolf and he has done it once again with Chicago PD!

NBC premiered their new show, (my must-watch, can't-miss) Chicago PD in January. Since its pilot episode (which caused me to slap my hand over my mouth as I gasped and almost caused me to spill my tea) it hasn't lifted its foot off the gas...not even a little bit. 

For those of you who haven't watched it, I'll stir clear of any spoilers, but tell you now, even if I slipped, you probably won't see it coming. Right off the bat, the audience is lifted by their heels and shaken upside, leaving you hanging for the perfectly timed commercial breaks. Luckily, you can probably watch the first five episodes on demand and skip all the commercials. (I suggest keeping one or two of them in there, as you might need a breather.) Regardless, there is no shortage of action, suspense, gun fire and the nitty-gritty story lines that keep you wanting more.

The story lines of each character provide a depth that intrigues you on its own. It not only sets a concrete foundation for the show — making you feel as if you've stepped into a well established series — but it ignites the ever quiet and ever present human aspect, there is always more than one side to every story.

The depth of the character break downs probably comes as no surprise to those who have watched another of Wolf's work, Chicago Fire. Leading man, Sergeant Hank Voight, played by Jason Beghe, appeared in a couple of episodes of Chicago Fire, allowing for optimum crossovers between the shows. 

Personally, one of my favorite aspects is knowing the wait for another awesome episode produced by Wolf is just 24 hours, compared to a week (or 23 hours if you want to throw Law & Order: SVU into the mix). However, it'll be a little different this go around. With the 2014 Winter Olympics, Chicago Fire and Chicago PD have paused, but on the bright side...it just means you have three weeks to catch up. And besides, people always say it's not good to watch that much television.

I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think!

Sincerely, 

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

In A Past Life

Do you believe in past lives and reincarnation? When I first learned about reincarnation in school, it fascinated me. It's like a second chance, but on a bigger scale. A reset button on life. You've reset and erased. You're back at the starting gate, but you don't know the course of the track. You go on anyways.

Growing up Catholic, I was taught that reincarnation isn't real. It isn't a thing. It's an idea, but it's not ours. However, as the years have come and gone, I can't help but wonder if it's true, even the smallest bit. Perhaps it's not page-by-page from Buddhist teaching, but piece-by-piece.

In the Zac Brown Band's song "Colder Weather," he sings, "you got a gypsy soul to blame and you were born for leaving." It's always been one of my favorite lines and I had jotted it down on a post-it note while working in NYC. (That post-it note hung on the wall next to pictures I ripped out of an STA Travel catalog.) The lines' deep resonation has me thinking I must have been a gypsy in a former life. I must have been a vagabond. I must have always had this need to explore and wander. Whether or not it's true, I won't know until after I die, but until then, I'll go on anyways.

Sincerely, 

Cybill

{Photo Credit}