Advice to my Former Self

Yes, the photo of the little girl above is me, way back before I could distinguish right from left and I realized I can't get by without a calculator. Driving home today, I was hit with a bit of nostalgia for my former self, specifically, the 13-year-old me.

I wasn't nostalgic to go back to middle school, I don't necessarily want to be 13 again, but I do wish I could give my 13-year-old self a hug...and some advice. You know, the kind of advice and reassurance you really needed back then. The kind of advice that resembled a slap-in-the face coming from love, of course. Just some small reality check, because at 13 and semi-self-centered, I really needed it.

To quote Cher, "If I could turn back time..."

• Hate to break it to you, but most of your friends at 13 aren't going to be your friends in your 20s. In the seventh grade, when Chelsea ostracizes you, it's a blessing, really. You'll be Facebook "friends" and you'll see her again in college, but your attempts to reconcile can be categorized a failure. It's okay. You'll understand the afternoon you go to the gym with Carling and see her.
• Regarding your crushes, Chris and Hector...jump ship now. I won't be so hard on you. You were young, naive, you didn't know any better. But don't be so dramatic, your taste will change to something far better. Keep in mind, you won't really see them again after 8th grade. 
• Middle school will end, you'll be sad and you will cry. That's okay. But be open-minded to high school. Yes, it's a private school and you won't really know anyone, but trust me, it really isn't that bad. You'll grow in your faith, you'll grow in your confidence, and you'll make some really great friends. Friends you'll still talk to in your 20s, though attending rival colleges. Trust me when I tell you, you're better off. 
• Study. You're a smart girl and you've realized you can get good grades by coasting. Don't. That'll carry over into your freshmen year of high school more than you think. 
• C'est la vie, girl! Seriously, it's life and it's going to keep going. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't occupy your time with boys and petty drama with girls that won't matter a year later. You'll learn and sooner than you think, your friends (the friends you actually still talk to) will turn to you for advice. There's a reason you've been labeled "Independent Woman of the Mountain." 

What advice do you wish you can give yourself at 13, because let's be real, who was "cool" at 13? 

Sincerely, 

Cybill

P.S. The picture included in this post is not of myself at 13. 

It's Time for a Joyful Jig

Dance like no one is watching has been the encouragement to carpe diem on the dance floor for centuries...I think. Regardless of the line's history and origin, it's time we take it to the dance floor and feel good.

Monday night, I came across a Highway Sing-Along video to Build Me Up Buttercup and I was jamming and grooving for the rest of the evening. Perhaps some of my joy can be credited to Mr. TJ Smith and his contagious spirit to sing like no one was listening, but it goes without saying, Build Me Up Buttercup just makes you want to dance and sing along.

Coasting along with my high spirits and dreaming of a way to bottle up this happy feeling for another day, I concluded, sometimes you just have to shrug and press play. Life is going to hit you with the ups and downs, the side steps and wrong steps, but if you put the right tune to it, it really isn't all that bad. I know there is some scientific data to back me up on my claim. You know, how the right music makes the body release dopamine, which makes you feel good. Then there is the added bonus of burning calories while dancing, but let's not complicate an age-old and time trusted process, let's just sing and dance!

So, get up and let me see you dance, or if you're in your office, perhaps you can just groove while you work. The seven dwarfs whistled while they worked, you can groove, don't worry, I won't tell anyone. If you need some songs to get you started, to turn those step backs into a cha-cha, to put a smile on your face, don't call Dr. Feelgood. I've created a short playlist for your joyful jig, just press play!

Sincerely, 

Cybill

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Motivation for Monday

Mondays can be a little rough, but that doesn't mean they can't be a good start to a great week and sometimes all you need is someone to tell you, "You've got what it takes, you've got more than it takes!" For anyone that's going through a bit of a rough patch and you find your balance between questions and answers heavy with doubt, take a deep breath and then take another. I've been there and I'm somewhat still there.

Last week I found myself with a broken back burden with doubt. I've been traveling down a path that seems so long, but some inherent part of me, however small, tells me a I shouldn't give up, I shouldn't back down, this path, worn and barren now, will lead me somewhere great.

Teetering on the brink of tears, I turned to books and words. There's something unify in the fact that though complete strangers, separated by oceans and centuries, we all question ourselves. Some have figured it out while others went on blind faith that everything was going to be okay. Regardless of whether or not their questions marks were turned into periods and exclamation points, they persevered with their passions and I found solace and encouragement I should keep on trying as well.

I hope you keep on trying too. And may you always remember, that the passion and fire in your heart isn't there as a filler, there's a reason and that reason may very well be your purpose. May you have a great start to a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Cybill 

Playing for Payton

In light of the recent allegations against Florida State quarterback and Heisman Trophy front runner, Jameis Winston, coupled with the mess between Miami Dolphins offensive linemen Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin, it's easy to find yourself rolling your eyes and sighing.

As we live in an age of overpaid athletes, student-athlete-celebrity hybrids, public pre-Madonna tantrums it comes at no surprise when scandal stands as the leading story. But for anyone who believes in the the spirit of sports, specifically Florida State football, you know there's more to it than National Championships, Heisman Trophies and what's considered ESPN newsworthy. There's the reason guys play the game and so many people cheer for them, there's the inspiration they invoke in others and others invoke in them, and there's the story of Payton Poulin.

I share the video and story in hopes to deviate from the negative and focus on the positive reasons to play. With everything bad that can and do go on in our day-to-day, maybe leading stories should start focusing on sparking smiles instead of sighs.

I hope y'all have a great weekend! Go Noles!

Sincerely,

Cybill 

An Internal Monologue

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with yourself? Don't make that look like I'm crazy, you know what I'm talking about. One moment you're just walking, minding your own business, probably thinking of things you have to do but don't really want to do, and then, all of a sudden something catches your eye.

"Oh hey, that looks cool," is the line that starts it all.

Then a few minutes later you find yourself internally arguing whether whatever caught your eye is worth the purchase, "It IS on sale..." "Are you even going to use it? You don't need it. What are you going to do with it?" ...and that's how we all end up on a psychiatrist's couch, shelling out dollars of what could go toward our retirement fund. Just kidding...somewhat.

In all seriousness, I'm sure you can recall a time when the rational and level-headed part of your personality was urging your spontaneous, free-spirit not to jump, not to take that leap, not to buy the alarm clock just because it was cute and fuzzy. Odds are, you can also recall a time when you were convinced there was food stuck in your teeth or on the side of your face when you catch a cute stranger looking at you. Then, as if timed perfectly, you scold yourself in your decision to forgo checking yourself out in the mirror, because you don't want to be confused for narcissistic.

We've all been there. We've all done it. We've all talked ourselves out of happiness or an uptake on the confidence meter, however short and fleeting. But why?!

Why do we deny ourselves something that will do no harm and will make us happy? Why do we deny ourselves that small slice of cake? Why do we try to convince ourselves someone is out of our league?

Talking a step back and assessing the situation from the comfort zone of my laptop it's all really silly. We dress up, we show up and we look great! We work out, eat right and deserve that small slice of cake! We work hard, live within our means and one silly, just-because purchase is a small reward, and that's that. Little joys and increases of confidence is good, as along as it's in moderation and we don't let it go to heads, the same way we've let denial and a negative perspective of ourselves get into our hearts.

So the next time you catch the eye a stranger think, "I do look good today," because you look great! And the next time you find yourself debating whether or not to have a small slice of cake, Marie Antoinette that and let them (meaning you) have cake! Let's revolutionize our internal monologue to embrace that happiness that is out there for us and end the fight against ourselves, because as my favorite yoga instructor always said, "Don't fight with your body, because you will loose."

Sincerely,

Cybill

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Hitting Home

Looking back through my previous posts and reading my About page, I realized I never mentioned where I'm from, aside from the fact that I grew up and I currently live in Florida. While I do consider Florida home, it isn't where I was born, it isn't where my family is from and it isn't my motherland. That land, that small piece of Earth, the soil that nourished my history is located half way around the world and right now, it's all over the news.

My family was born in the Philippines. I was born in the Philippines. My roots are in the Philippines and now, they need help. 

As you already know, Typhoon Haiyan devastated parts of the central Philippines, leaving thousands in need. Aside from losing their homes, many lost family members and loved ones, and while losing those near and dear is enough of a burden, they have also found themselves without clean water and food. Together, we try to do what we can from where we are and with that I'm sharing some resources below. 

• Google has set up websites to help connect loved ones and request rescue. 
• The Washington Post has shared a number of organizations accepting donations to aid the Philippines in their recovery. You may find The Washington Post's list of organizations, links to their website and phone numbers here. 
• Donations to the UN World Food Programme to aid those in dire need of food and water can be made here. Donations can also be made via text.
• US: Text AID to 27722 to donate $10
• Canada: Text RELIEF to 45678 to donate $5
• UK: Text AID to 70303 to donate £3.

I am always impressed by the human spirit in difficult situations and now I'm even more grateful as this difficult situation hits home. For your continued generosity and prayers, salamat.

Sincerely, 

Cybill

London: The Game Plan & The Travel Bug

Long before I started this blog (which in reality, isn't very long at all) I knew I would have to dedicate a post (or a couple of posts) to one of my favorite city, if not my favorite city. However, I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what stories I should share and what adventures would make for the best stories, so I think I'll just start at the beginning and we'll see where the journey takes us.

Once upon a time, circa 2001, I was sitting in the front passenger seat telling my Mom the number of places I wanted to visit one day. We were heading home from Miami, driving along US 27 and we had reached the part of the day when the sun had started to set, but it wasn't blinding like it usually is on any given Florida afternoon. I remember it was overcast but I can't remember if it had rained. What I do remember is my Mom interrupting me to tell me, "Cybill, don't get married right out of college. You want to travel to all of these places and you can do that after you graduate."

That was it. It was Inception without Leonardo DiCaprio and I ran with it. I caught it, tucked it under my arm and ran it in for a 97 yard touchdown. Victory dance! Then I discovered fire... Okay, not really, but I did discover a way to begin traveling before graduating college. That game plan and the play called, studying abroad. 

Fast forward to summer 2008 and college orientation. We were given a booklet of meetings and presentations set up by faculty and students describing anything from "How to Talk to Your Professor" to "The Best Ways to Manage Your Time." My parents suggested I attend a few of those, but there was one presentation I insisted we attend, no contest. After circling the presentation summary a number of times and under what some countries might consider duress (just kidding), we were in. We were sitting in the auditorium and I knew studying abroad was going to be my gateway into Europe.

The idea of traveling, planted years ago was only a companion to the travel bug that was dormant since birth. However, that afternoon, sitting in that auditorium, it crept and crawled it's way into light and my hopes of traveling the world would become realized. Little did I know the length of my checklist...

Sincerely,

Cybill

Home of the Free, Because of the Brave

As today marks Veteran's Day, I just wanted to give a small shout out to the brave men and women who do what they do and the brave souls who did what they did. In the busy day-to-day, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle of life, often forgetting the opportunities we consider inherent to being a human. But that isn't the case everywhere and wasn't always the case here. So today, even if only for a minute, I'll pause in gratitude, that I am able to call home the land of the free, because of the brave. I invite to join me.

Happy Veteran's Day!

Sincerely,

Cybill

College Football: A Love Affair

No, thank YOU, Stanford. | November 7, 2013

As someone who is emotionally invested in Florida State Football, I quickly learned the messy love affair that is college football.

Last night, a number of Seminole fans (myself included) huddled around televisions to cheer on the Stanford Cardinals as they played the Oregon Ducks. The Nole Nation was invested in this game, as a Stanford victory was a step closer to a BCS National Championship game between Alabama and Florida State. That investment and that support from Nole Nation was obvious scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed with so many Seminoles going as CardiNoles that evening, but it also lead me to wonder, How many times have I hoped a team would fall short one evening only to cheer for them later in the season?

In retrospect, I can't count the number of games I've watched when I found myself glancing at another screen (or channel) to check on another game. However, I do recall moments during FSU home games when they'd update the crowd with scores from other games going on around the country. In those moments, the crowd would hoot and holler when outcomes were in our favor and of course, whenever the Gators were falling behind.

Now, I'm not going to go into the complexity of college football, the rankings -- AP Poll, Coaches Poll, BCS -- and how a team's record, coupled with their conference determines who and when they play. However, I will say it's the reason for the love affair, it's the reason you cheer for other teams and it's probably the reason it's so much fun.

There's a certain level of friendly rivalry and camaraderie within college football. I will go ahead and admit, while I'll cheer for an ACC team whenever they play out of our conference, I won't cheer for them when they play Florida State, but I believe it's that small link that ties college fans together. No matter where you are in the season and whom you may be playing that evening, it won't always be a lose-hate relationship and it may very well be the only accepted love affair.

I hope y'all have a great weekend and may your football team(s) take home a victory. Go Noles!

Sincerely,

Cybill

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The Company You Keep

As the saying goes, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." I don't discredit whomever may have coined the term and the number of people who quoted it, but to certain extent, you can pick your family. 

It's the first wedding, but definitely not the last party. | September 14, 2013

Now, I'm not talking about your biological family, but I am talking about the friends that become your family. Specifically, the friends you carry with throughout your life, the friends that grow with you and grow up with you.

I found that special group of people in college. In those four to five years we spent "figuring things out" and enjoying some new found freedom, we learned lessons and they weren't always in a classroom. Some of us learned how to mend a broken heart, others learned how to mend wounded knees and some of us learned the art of getting through a north Florida "winter." Then there is the invaluable lesson of the company we kept and the special place they'll have in our heart forever. Together we formed bonds, created memories and laughed with (and at times at) each other, piecing together what forever will be our college years.

For all you twenty-somethings out there, I'm sure you're picking up what I'm putting down. You're probably thinking of your group of friends, your go-tos, your ride or die, your family away from home. Maybe you've known this group since you were kids in elementary school or, like me, they are a group of individuals you didn't have the pleasure of meeting until college. However, you can't imagine your future with out them.

FSU Graduation | April 2012

They've impacted you. You've learned with them and from them. You've laughed, you've cried and hopefully, you've cried because your were laughing so much. Along with your family (your real family), they're people you picture surrounding you during the big moments in your future: marriage, kids, job promotions, cross-country moves...

Finding this group and weeding out the ones that don't stick can cause some heart ache and some drama. At times you may wonder if everyone is stuck in the high school, teenage, drama-driven mentality.  It's work and it's hard work, but it's great work. It's holding someone's hand through a crowded bar so you don't loose each other. It's picking up your roommate from the gym so she doesn't have to walk home dazed, because she didn't eat before she worked out. It's the "text me when you get there so I know you're safe" yell down the hall. It's the effort, it's the laughs and it's the love...and it's what makes them your family.

Kallie Lamb's 21st Birthday | September 2011

You're going to but heads, you're going to disagree, you're going to call each other out on chewing too loud they can't hear the television (true story by the way), but you're going to know there's no malice behind it. You're going to know is from a sacred place in their heart, a place that you and you alone can fill.  
Just as you have carved out your own nook they'll carve out their own cranny. They'll build bookshelves and line those shelves with snapshots of some of your greatest memories. Those snapshots will bookend rows of novels filled with great adventures and a dynamic ensemble. 
You want to know the best part? You'll be part of those stories. 
Then, months or years down whichever road you've all traveled, you'll find yourself sitting quietly and reaching for something nestled on a bookshelf. The memories will fill you and a smile will find its way below your nose and above your chin. You'll remember where you were and the moments that made you laugh, but most importantly, you'll remember with whom you shared those moments and who was laughing next to you. You'll pause and be grateful that it's the company you'll have moving forward, because it's the best kind of company to keep. 
Sincerely,   Cybill 

Recommended Reading

They can say what they want about people who assume, but I'm going to assume most, if not all of you, enjoy reading, to a certain extent at least. I'm going to go ahead even further and assume that just like myself, when you read something you really enjoy or something by someone close to you, you share it. 

You can call it spreading positivity, enlightenment or just the simple act of sharing, but I thought I'd share a little something with all of you. I thought I'd share something I read with my recommendation that you definitely read it. (Hence the post title.)

Most of these, whether they're a blog posts, an article or what-have-yous, I came across online. Some I bookmarked, others I forwarded to a friend and then, there are some forwarded to me. It's an intricate web linking minds through shared reading, an instant library with no due dates and late fees, it's the modern day spread of knowledge. I like to consider it something like a free education (unless you want to calculate the fees for electricity and wi-fi, but let's not get too technical).

At the same time, let's get things going. Without further ado, below are a few things I read that are definitely worth your time. I hope you're able to take something from it, even if it's just a fleeting chuckle or a half smile from a pull at your heartstrings. Ultimately, I hope you enjoy your read and your views on my literary prowess aren't too beneath you.

• Happy Wife, Crazy Army Life: I've mentioned my dear friend Colleen in a previous post. In this post, I'm happy to mention her as a fellow blogger. She recently started a blog to share her new life as a wife and an army wife at that. Living a few thousand miles northwest, she's embracing life and kind enough to share it with us. For any Florida State Seminole fans out there, you'd probably appreciate her latest post and can relate it on a number of levels. 
• Marriage Isn't For You: Now, before you mark this one as sounding too cynical for your palette, I definitely think you should give a try, a once over, a skim of sorts. You may be surprised as it isn't exactly what you'd expect. As PR goes, I saw this link appear on my Facebook newsfeed a couple of times, but it wasn't until my friend, Christine, sent it to me that had me reading it. I wasn't disappointed and I hope you won't be as well.
• What She Doesn't Know Will Kill You: I first came across this article years ago, I must have been in middle school, but as years have come and gone, this has always stayed in the back of my mind. I can't tell you exactly why it's been etched into my brain, forever cataloged as one of my favorite reads, but it has and thus, this piece by Matt Brochu is worthy of sharing. 

I hope y'all enjoyed your reads! What do you have cataloged as your recommended reads?

Sincerely,

Cybill

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Dance Dance My November Prance

I have to confess, I pranced my way into November. I guess you can say I'm happy to see November has finally arrived, but not in the sense that I wanted to see October go.

November just holds so much anticipation. It's the lead up to Christmas. The stores start stacking their shelves with holiday items adorned in the merry red and green and buzz of early Christmas shoppers is starting to build. It's the excitement you first experience as a child, except, I never grew out of it and I hope I never will. 

As the beginning of the holiday season, the airports get a little busier with loved ones coming and going. The receptions at the arrival gate is showered with hugs and kisses from lovers with longing hearts. Everything just seems better this time of year and if they aren't, everything seems like they're not too far off. 

This November, I hope you're overwhelmed with the warm and fuzzy feelings that come this time of year. I hope you're surrounded by friends and family, kept warm by the ones you love and the only thing that hurts are your cheeks, from your countless hours of smiling. 

Happy November!

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

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