Football, My Love, You're Back

You know that feeling you get, when you meet eyes with someone cute and they smile and your heart gets like warm butter on hot toast? Well, that's how I feel when Seminole football is back...only better.

You're probably aware of my excitement for the return of college football. I mean, I don't really try to hide it much less try to keep it a secret. You're also probably well aware of the team I support and the team I pledge my loyalty. Again, that's not much of a secret. Knowing that, you're probably well aware of my gratitude for the return of the college football season.

There is something to be said about college football. The amount of money that is involved in the sport is staggering, especially in respect to the fact these athletes aren't considered professionals and really, aren't suppose to receive a cut. Yes, they do receive nice perks by being on the team, but it all comes at a cost.

While most college students can disregard their alarm clock in the morning, football players and really any athlete are tied to it like a ball and chain. Waking up early to work their bodies into great machines to win important games. But they're also working to win more than that game and the games to follow. They're working to win the approval of their teammates, the approval of their coaches and the approval of their respected college community. If they drop the ball, they lost the game. However, if at the end, we stand victorious, we are the winners.

It's easy to think the cost of being a college athlete is easily overweighed by the perks, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Walking around campus as a celebrity isn't necessarily glamorous. Knowing you walk into an environment with a target on your back and on your chest isn't the most comforting. To go out on the field, week after week, it's a feat.

As the season begins, with each team standing level with one another, each with the same the number of wins compared to loses, I want to take a second in gratitude. I want to thank them for their early mornings and tough practices. I want to thank them for playing to win and putting it all on the line. And finally, I want to thank them for playing the game we all love to play and watch.

Go Seminoles!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit//GIF Credit}

There's No Crying in PR

...unless it's the end of the day, you're back in your apartment and alone.

I guess this deserves some explanation.

Friday afternoon was like any other Friday afternoon in the office. Everyone was at their desk, fingers dancing across their keyboard to get what needed to be drafted, delivered and finalized out of their inbox and off of their to-do list to make it out of the office by four o'clock. Four o'clock Fridays were drawing to an end and with only two (including that particular Friday) left, it was a dream to get out as close to four as possible.

So why the tears, you ask?

Well, I had a review that afternoon; and I look forward to reviews like a bug looks forward to the windshield of a car.

Holding back tears while being told I need to "work on my confidence," "be careful about being too creative" and really trying to "own things," I couldn't help but get pulled back to my time in New York.  My family and friends will tell you I was not a happy camper in the big apple. I wasn't even close. I use strong words like "hate" and "disgust" to plainly allude to feelings that have only left a reminisce of my self-esteem in the working world. I had been bent and broken. I had been burned and shredded. Forever scared, with a bitter aftertaste that sits in the back of your throat like an ex-boyfriend's name.

Sitting in that conference room, I was once again "too much" while being "not enough." My edges were sharp, but in the wrong places. My accent marks punctuated the wrong part of the word. My kick of the ball landing it in the wrong goal. My efforts had been too strong in the wrong direction.

While the feedback stems from hopes of improvement, its flower perfumes a smell of disappointment. I left feeling more vulnerable than when I entered, than when I even started. Hunched from the weighted of the "criticism" I came back to my apartment and cried. I cried like that baby I really am, because let's be real...I have no idea what the heck I'm doing.

So what better thing to do then get it all down on this blog. Pour it all out and turn each piece over. One-by-one. Carefully, I'll find the pieces that connect. I'll build my boarder and piece together my picture. I will always be too much for some people. My accent forever a bit off. But I refuse to dull my edges and weaken my efforts. Those will stay as they are and the other parts of me will just learn to be as sharp and as strong, because there is no crying in PR.

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Priority

"Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority,' and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: 'I'm not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it's not a priority.' 'I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.' If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently."

— Laura Vanderkam, Are You As Busy As You Think?

{Photo Credit}

You Play Ball like a Girl

Whether or not you follow the Little League World Series or sports in general, you'd better get yourself acquainted with Mo'Ne Davis. The talented 13-year-old is making a name for herself and paving a way for girls to take over the world. While Beyonce has been singing about the girls running the world, Mo'Ne Davis is showing up the mound to show she can run the world of sports. 

Though I'm not the type to be overly vocal about my beliefs that women aren't just dainty little flowers that need to be protected, I don't hide the fact that I aspire to be a strong and independent woman. Perhaps this stems from my youth, growing up as one of the few girls on my street and one of two who would play tag football with the guys. Regardless of where, when or why, it's great when you see girls, especially young girls, give it all they got to be a girl on top of a man's world. 

To all my sisters out there, whatever you do, bring it. And bring like a girl. There will be a day when "You play ball like a girl," will be the compliment of all compliments and perhaps that day is sooner than we expect. 

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

Lessons For My Daughter

When you start college...

It's August, which only means one thing (okay, two if you count the beginning of the college football season). School is right around the corner and many young girls are packing their bags to begin the wild ride that is college. One day, you'll be packed and nervously excited, awaiting the beginning of amazing expedition. Thinking back to my four years are Florida State University, it's hard to say what I loved most and hold as my deepest regret. But last night, when my roommate asked me for some advice she can share with her cousin, it got me thinking about some of the best takeaways unearthed outside the classroom.

1. Low maintenance friends of high quality are the best friends. The amount of push and pull that happens within the span of four years can be daunting. The pressures of deciding a career path, pursuing goals and embracing the mistakes that turns into lessons are best managed with a group of friends that just get you — no make-up, no fuss, no inhibitions. Find them. Trust in them. Grow with them. Finding the right people who will frame your memories without cluttering the picture is a true treasure and a gem to be kept forever.

2. Study abroad. Study abroad for a semester, for the summer or for the whole year. Live, grow and learn in a new country with different smells, different languages and different people. There is a lot of stretching, leaning and yearning in college and in your early twenties. Do it in a different country and collect stories of places far from home. I'll miss you, but I know the growing you'll do abroad will open and fill your eyes with spark to better see the world and live your passion.

3. Go out on a school night. Alright, this one I advise with some reservation, but I will say, it's okay to go out on a school night. You're young, so do it now while you're body can still rally the next day. When you have an exam the next day, it's probably best to stay in (though it isn't completely off the table). I trust your judgement and trust me, you'll always be surprised by the people you meet and the relationships that form on those random school nights out.

4. Go beyond the college town. Drive two hours west to go camping. You've flown halfway around the world to surround yourself with the unfamiliar and continue to do that in any way possible. It probably won't be the same. It won't have the same kind of sparkle, but it'll open your eyes to something beyond the every day. Tell yourself you're going to do this and then do it.

5. Live for now, but work for tomorrow. Live and study. It's a balance. It's a give and take, a push and pull that will take a little while to fully grasp. But learn how to do everything you want to do and everything you have to do early. There will be sacrifices, but at the end of your four years in college, if properly done, you'll have a great future to look forward to and great friends to share it with as you reminisce on great memories.

Sincerely,

Cybill

The Anatomy of My Not So Romantic Meet Cute

In your twenties, you'll come to find a number of your friends, classmates and acquaintance begin to settle down and get married. It can be a little weird. One minute you're in school and the next minute, they took Beyonce's advice and put a ring on it. Anyways, I'm not complaining. I love weddings! I mean, who doesn't love a party where you get all dolled up and celebrate the love between two people? I'm such a sap.

Wedding talk aside, I have to say, I really enjoy hearing about how two people met and  how they almost didn't. It almost makes you wonder if there is such a thing as fate. Do soulmates really exist? Can the meeting of two people really be kismet? 

In June, I had my own rub with fate. In a small way, I had my own meet-cute. But don't call Katherine Heigl just yet. This is no Rom-Com.

Setting
I was traveling to Portland from Orlando for my cousin's wedding. Waking up around 2:30 a.m. Thursday morning, I had packed, got myself to the airport and made it as a stand-by passenger on the first flight to Chicago. My early start had afforded me smooth sailing and about two hours to eat breakfast in O'Hare International Airport. However, my two and half hour layover morphed into five and a half hours thanks to a three hour delay. One croissant, small coffee, almond pretzel, over-priced water bottle, small bag of trail-mix and three hours later, we were finally boarding the flight to Portland. It was a four and a half our flight and I had a middle seat.

I thank the powers of God and the universe for joining together, because as soon as I reached my row, the lucky girl who had window seat had asked me if I wanted to trade seats with her friend a few rows back. Homegirl had a window seat and it didn't really take much convincing. Window seat for a four hour and a half our flight?! WIN! All that was next was for me to pull my FSU baseball hat low over my eyes and embrace the nap ahead of me, but where's the romance in that?

The Meet-Cute
Enter Tyler. We'll call him Tyler, because, well...that's his name. In he walks, excusing himself past Jerry (the 17-year-old who attends a snowboarding high school — snowboarding high schools are real) and wearing an Oregon Ducks hoodie. Without too much hesitation, I asked him if he attended the University of Oregon and conversation quickly turned to college football. With my alma mater, the Florida State University Seminoles winning the National Championship earlier this year, the topic of conversation is probably no surprise. But what surprised me was how long Tyler and I talked and what we talked about.

Thinking back, I think we pretty much touched on almost everything. We discussed and suggested books and movies, learned about jobs and places traveled, traded sibling stories and even touched on the topic of sex and joining the mile-high club (not with each other, what kind of girl do you think I am?!). It was strange and in a way, comforting. There's something about meeting someone and simply talking and trading stories. They have no idea who you are and you haven't a clue about them.

At the end of the flight, we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

The End of the Rom-Com, Maybe?
Now, you're probably wondering what happened. Did we meet up one day and frolic around the city, taking adorable pictures worthy of any pre-teen magazine? No. We didn't. He invited me to hang out with his friends Saturday evening, but that was my cousin's wedding day and an opportunity to catch up with my family whom I haven't seen in months. The choice was easy, but perhaps a small part of me wonders what could have happened if I snuck away for an hour and a drink.

A few members of my glam fam. 

Relationship Status
Our relationship status (and I'm not talking about Facebook "Relationship Status") is friends...ish. Perhaps we're more distant friends or simply acquaintances. We're two ships passing in the night, or maybe more like two plans passing in flight.

We've texted a bit here-and-there, but that's kind of it. It's the end of the meet-cute. The rom-com without the rom...and perhaps the com. The beginning, "middle" and abrupt end, leaving you with what-ifs and what could have been. 

Youthful Optimism
Meet-cutes are real! Rare, but real. They happen, and while you may not realize it at the time, it's great story to share with girlfriends. Yes, the what-ifs can drive you mad, but as a lover of love, this does give me a little hope...and who knows, maybe this isn't the end of the "Rom-Com." His Oregon Ducks may find themselves matched up against my Seminoles...and that would be a great next chapter to this story.

I should also add, Portland and the surround area is a really pretty place to visit.

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit//Personal//Personal//Personal//Tyler}

Some

"Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it."

— Michelle K, Some

2014 Goals...Made in August

It's August and my attempts at blogging have failed miserably. I think I posted one post in the month of July. Where does all the time go? I think it's spent at work or sleeping. Lately, that's all I feel I do, but I've promised to be kinder to myself. Yes...napping is something kind to gift myself, but so is living life and that latter is far more adventurous. With that in mind, I'm going to greet the rest of 2014 with a few goals. Some are a little silly, but all are hopeful.

1. Staying up late to live a litte more. Since I began my new job, I've been so set in my way of sleeping at decent hour. I love to sleep. I love being in my pajamas and just cuddling in my bed. However, that's not what life is about. My goal is sleep a little later...perhaps an hour or so (let's not get crazy, I do have to work the next day) and just do a little more, even if it's something small, like reading a book or watching a movie.

2. Calling, not texting. Some of my friends can probably attest to this. I do like to chat and if you need someone to talk to for an hour during your drive, give me a call. However, this doesn't mean I do it with everyone. More often than not, I'll settle for texting someone, but it just seems to lackluster. Hearing someone's voice and being able to give your full attention to talk with someone on the phone holds so much more value.

3. Sitting up straight. Silly and small, but considering I sit at my desk for most of the day, it's probably best that I work on my posture. I have an awful posture and I should really do something about it, especially since I have scoliosis.

4. Turning to prayer for my answers. I'm a girl with a bunch of questions that never really seem to get answered. Lately, I've found that some of my questions don't even have clean-cut defined answers as much as I ask others and as much as I think about it. When it comes to that, clearly, the only way to get my answer is through prayer and through Christ. There's really no better way.

5. Enjoying the beautiful angelic morning. One Sunday evening, not too long ago, I remember dreading the idea of having to wake up and go into work the following morning. I had no real reason, I just didn't want to do it. Then I realized, it's a waste of my energy and my emotions. The way you feel about something really does play a major role in how things work out, and as silly as it sounds, it really is best to go into things excited, happy and grateful about life!

Okay, enough motivational mumbo-jumbo from me. I have to indulge in life a litte more before I really feel inspiring!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}