Goodbye 2013, Good Riddance

In a matter of hours, we'll be saying goodbye to 2013 and welcoming 2014 with open arms. Perhaps, some of us will be welcoming the new year with a slur of well wishes, sloppy kisses and glazed eyes. Whatever the case and however we welcome 2014, I gratefully wish 2013 adieu. Good riddance!

Okay, perhaps I shouldn't really be kicking 2013 in the ass and out the door, but in the grand scheme of things, 2013 was rough. (Kids, being in your 20s kind of sucks. Stay in college forever.) I had a rough time living in New Jersey and interning in NYC. I tried to comfort myself with the idea that things would get better and I was just paying my dues. In short, they didn't. I danced my way out of that office.

In the following months my luck in the employment realm involved no uptick whatsoever. Was it karma? Perhaps. (But Karma, when will you work with me?! Huh?) I'm still waiting, hoping and working for the tide to turn in that respect. My moment of triumph will come! (Hopefully? Maybe? Oh, I sure hope so.)

Illness also plagued the house of Cybill this year. Well, it sure hit me that's for sure. This year, I took my first trip to the Emergency Room as a patient. My ailment? The Mumps. Now, before you go running to pump hand sanitizer and calling up the CDC about an unvaccinated scoundrel running amok, I did get vaccinated. I also learned that vaccinations don't last forever. Okay, now you may go ahead and call the CDC while pumping hand sanitizer.

While getting sick with the Mumps is a dark cloud that will forever loom over my 2013, it had a silver lining (and I'm not talking about Bradley Cooper). Sitting in the ER, colored in all shades of hot mess (though showered, I decided to forgo running a brush or my fingers through my hair prior to my arrival) I met the man I told my Mom I would marry. The ER doctor working that Friday morning was handsome in every way a man could be handsome. However, he wasn't handsome in the typical definition of the word. I'll update all of you if the universe allows our paths to cross again...

Mumps and handsome doctor aside, this year, I also got to witness one of the greatest girls I'll ever meet get married. (Definitely a redeeming moment for 2013.) Colleen made a beautiful bride and her wedding to Jimmy was definitely a highlight. The anticipation leading up to the day was palpable by some, but the excitement and the fun was tangible by everyone in attendance! Talks of the next wedding is now ringing, though it'll be a few years until then.

All in all, 2013 wasn't too bad, but I'm still happy to send it off. I had my peaks and my valleys, like anyone would, but I'm looking forward to the clean slate brought in by the new year. I'm hoping for 2014 to be the year of triumphs! I hope for one moment of triumph followed by another, beginning with Florida State winning the BCS National Championship game!

With all of the hope I've swept under the 2014 rug and another year in my 20s, I hope I'm not setting myself up for a disappointment. (As a hopeless optimist, it's a daily occurrence.) Perhaps I'm not setting myself up. Perhaps this is what life is like in your 20s. I mean, Helen Mirren seems to agree with me.

I hope y'all have a marvelous time celebrating the promises of the New Year, because whether or not you're ready here comes 2014. May it be a great year year of triumphs! Now, if I can only find someone — aside from my cat — to kiss when the clock strikes midnight...perhaps, I should call the Doctor?

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit//Photo Credit}

Upon My Death, Follow These Rules

Okay, so this post may be a little morbid in thought, but let's take like PR pros and "spin it," I'm just being proactive. (Selfishly, I also what I micromanage my funeral.)

First things first. You're probably asking yourself, "Cybill, why would you write such a horrific blog post?" To that, I answer with: (One) I've recently envisioned myself in a horrific car accident. (Knock on wood.) I don't know how it ends, as I shut my eyes and shake away the feeling creeping down my spine, but in the event that it's death and this vision becomes reality, I'd like to know I was prepared. (Two) I recently finished Mindy Kaling's book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), in which she has a chapter specifying rules for her funeral. I thought I'd take a page — or in this case a chapter — and outline my own funeral. Trust me, I'm doing all of you a favor.

Second things second. As the majority of my friends and everyone in my family don't know about this blog, I'm leaving these rules to be found and executed by the friends in the know. (I hope you ladies accept your mission, otherwise, we're in the shits.)

Rules and Regulations
1. If you're crying, stop. I didn't live a life worthy of tears. No one was able to breathe easy because I lived my life. I'm not being self deprecating, it's a fact that I have accepted. * However, tears are acceptable in private quarters.

2. Food must be present, preferably food that I particularly enjoyed, so don't skimp on the desserts and baked goods. An array of breakfast foods is completely acceptable and I wouldn't mind if my funeral is to be catered by Chick-fil-A.

3. Black attire is not necessary. While it is the historic color of mourning, I don't require you purchase and/wear black. I do, however, require you to be comfortable. It's miserable enough that I'm no longer there, I don't want to add to that burden. **

4. Multiple flower arrangements need not be present. One simple floral arrangement consisting of lavender roses and white hydrangeas will be plenty. I would have enjoyed flowers when I was alive, so y'all missed your chance there.

5. Music that invokes the desire to dance shall be the only music played. Think songs along the lines of Manfred Mann's Do Wah Diddy. I also encourage dancing. I want people who aren't invited to my funeral to wish they were, because it looks like an awesome party. Feel free to invite those people.

6. To the person(s) entrusted to delivery a eulogy, you better do a damn good job, I'll be listening. Please feel free to include humorous stories of my unparalleled wit and fiercely independent spirit. If you can't think of any examples to portray those characteristics, make them up, but make them believable or complete and utter crap that people won't know whether to laugh or be offended. However, I don't want a roast. Roast me and I'll crawl out of my grave to haunt you.

7. The prayer cards to be distributed at my funeral must include the phrase, "Badass chick from the Moulin Rouge" below my name. ***

8. Ex-boyfriends shall be informed of my passing and invited, pending they are in utter grief and regret ending the fight to win back my heart. Invite anyone you deem fit, but make sure they don't celebrate my passing the way you'd celebrate passing an exam.

9. Permission to print and/or distribute these rules and regulations are permitted. Copy and paste them in emails, if you find it necessary. I completely understand, it's probably easier.

10. In the event I do live a fabulous life, get married and have children, these rules and regulations do not apply. Some of them might...check with my lawyer or next of kin or whatever.

Sincerely,

Cybill



_______________________________________________________________________
*In the event that I was able to live a life noteworthy of a movie or Nobel Prize, public tears are permitted. Furthermore, these rules and regulations will be considered null and void. Please see updated rules and regulations.
**While I do wish for you to be comfortable, I do suggest people (mostly you, Lamb) wear pants. A dress or a skirt will work as well.
***Please emphasis the sarcasm in this sentiment, as I am fully aware of the occupation held by the "chicks of the Moulin Rouge." 

Good ol' Sibling Rivalry

What is it about the holiday season that reminds you just how much your family can drive you to an extreme state of mental and emotional exhaustion? Yeah, sure, there's the Hallmark aspect, full of love, joy and merriment, but I'm going to call bull if you tell me it's like that all. the. time.

I grew up with an older brother. We were close in age, being only 14 months apart. Naturally, sibling rivalry developed, lines were drawn and there have been plenty of times I didn't hold back in throwing a punch. Finally, we parted ways and packed some miles between us when he moved to college. It was a blessing, seriously. Aside from not having to share a bathroom — Hallelujah! — the pressure to be "better"didn't seem so omnipresent. But now, when he comes home from his hot shot job in Chicago, my status as an unemployed college graduate, living at home is highlighted ever more in the eyes of my parents. God, help me now.

My brother has been home for less than 24 hours and I've already found the desire to stick a fork in my eye, jump off a bridge to a rocky death and hash it out on this blog. Oh, you think I'm kidding...I'm not, that's why I'm on here.

As this holiday season drags on, I can only imagine where my angst will take me. The Christmas party slated for tomorrow is already marked with a red flag as I brace myself for the question I've grown to hate, "What are you doing now," — or any other variation. The sassy side of me will answer, "Just dickin' around," or "Nothing. I'm freeloading," but whether or not that side will attend, is a fate yet unknown. It'll also be a hard fight to keep her from surfacing as I get sassier with increased frustration.

So, call me bitter, call me a Grinch, call me someone who is sick of the comparisons, because I'm over it. I may not have a job (yet) and I sure as heck don't have a retirement plan, but I can do some pretty damn amazing things and I think I'm a pretty kickass person, regardless of your opinions or bank statement.

Sincerely,

Cybill

Bite Me

Disregarding the fact that it's the holiday season and joy should be the default emotion, I'm sulking and I don't care what you really think.

Chalk it up to whatever reason you can muster, but facts are facts and some things in life just suck. Finding out you have a flat tire when you need to get somewhere can be an example. Folding laundry is another. We all have them. Our "hate" list. Whether or not your list includes people is a different story, and my list isn't of that sort.

In efforts for full disclosure, I'm particularly peeved in regard to the job hunt. The job hunt is an unfortunate fact of life. You need money — if you boil things down to logistics, maybe you can get by without it — and you need a job to earn money. Landing a job usually requires applying to jobs. All facts understood. However, it doesn't make the process any less unpleasant.

Let me map out my thought process for you.

I am the type to research an agency, company or what have you, prior to sending an application. Research is a must, as you want to make sure you "click." As I was structured to be optimistic — a blessing and a curse — I find myself excited about joining a team. However, that isn't always the case.

After crafting an application consisting of a resume and doting cover letter, I wait. And wait. And wait. As cruel reality would have it, I don't here back. Yes, there is the standard, "Thank you for your application. We will review it carefully and contact you if you meet our qualifications," reply. There is also nothing. No confirmation. No salute to your efforts. No recognition of existence. To that, I say, BITE ME!

I've discussed this predicament with friends on multiple occasions. The feelings of frustration is present regardless of whether or not I hear anything, but which situation is worse? Receiving the "You're extremely talented, but we've selected another candidate that better suits our needs," email or nothing at all?

Whether or not you're asking me, I'm going to give you my opinion and I'll say, hearing nothing is a fate more cruel. On behalf of all applicants — specifically myself — we'd like some recognition of our efforts, despite how feeble you may consider our skills or attempts. Have some humanity...or some simple consideration for our time and efforts.

...okay, my disgruntled rant is over.

Sincerely,

Cybill

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New York, I Didn't Love You

Union Square Park | January 2013

With complete understanding that my feelings toward New York City may go against popular opinion, I have to state, New York, I didn't love you. Now, I'm not saying I hate you, because I definitely didn't hate you. I just wasn't happy when I was with you...

I was living in New Jersey and interning with an agency in NYC earlier this year. From January to April, for five days a week, I would wake up before the winter sunrise, catch a bus at a New Jersey mall and shlep over to Port Authority. From Port Authority, I would navigate through the city's underground tunnels to catch the N, Q or R train which dropped me off at the Union Square stop, that I was convinced was soaked with urine — yes, it smells that bad. Often arriving an hour before my office opened and an hour and a half before my supervisor reported to work, I'd hide away in a corner of the closest Pret, Starbucks or Panera to avoid the bitter cold. I hated all most if it.

To add to all of this, my roommate in New Jersey (who also happened to be family) seemed unpleasant during most occasions. Though a hard worker, her work just never seemed to bring her joy and believe me when I say, misery loves company.

Washington Square Park | April 2013

Despite her moodiness, premature sunsets and mind numbing cold, the free moments I spent in the city  hanging out with fellow interns did redeem NYC to a certain extent. (New York, you better thank those moments and those people. They showed me how some people can love you.)

With my meager salary (something every staff member marveled and laughed at whenever mentioned), I would sometimes forgo the warmth of hanging out in Pret, Starbucks or Panera — I couldn't afford to buy a $4 coffee everyday, espeically since free coffee was in the office. Those mornings I spent braving the cold, I'd often stroll through the streets of the city. In the early hours of the day, the streets lacked the hustle, bustle, push and shove that was notorious when wide awake. It was nice and I enjoyed it (except that one morning when an older man shoved pass me to get off the train — I'm looking at you, you old grouch). It was very Audrey Heprbun a la Breakfast at Tiffany's and I was Holly Golightly, except without the black dress, questionable trips to Sing Sing and "occupation" that would bring the disappointment from my mother to a whole new level.

At first, I'd keep my walks between 23rd street and Union Square. I'd stroll west and then south toward the office building. Nothing crazy. Nothing extravagant. One morning, I even decided to brave the cold and sit on a park bench in Madison Square. I was desperate for anything resembling fresh air at that point. However, that lasted all about two minutes, before I briskly walked into an Au Bon Pain to warm my hands which I swear was starting to crack from the cold.

Rooftop View | April 2013

Those first mornings venturing around the city probably didn't favor a growth of warm feelings. However, they did provide a some good stories with my fellow interns, Catrina and Lesley. Those stories provided the laughter that helped us survive life in the trenches. More often that not, I'd worry the laughter from Catrina would lead to reprimands from our supervisors. I didn't realize my mishaps — like taking the ill-advised deep breath exiting a subway train — were so funny Catrina couldn't control her laughter, maybe they were so pathetic they became funny.

One of my favorite moments was the afternoon Catrina and I snuck up to the roof of the office building, disregarding any and every sign that stated an alarm would ring. With the door ajar, we doubted the alarm even worked and our audacity rewarded us greatly. Not only were we able to get an amazing view of the city, we found a future lunch spot, void of any crowds, but busting at the seams with some well deserved "fresh air." That spot was perfect when the weather finally warmed up mid-April.

In retrospect, New York City, with it's early sunsets, bitter cold chill and stern-faced residents wasn't too bad. Would I say my feelings have changed, no, but I would go back to visit. Maybe my love or admiration for the city takes more than a few months...maybe I can learn to love it...maybe.

Sincerely,

Cybill 

Organic Development

Tuesday, I wrote about what I hope would come out of my blog and how I hope it would be delivered. I concluded with the fact that I really don't have a clear cut idea of any of it. There are bits and pieces of the puzzle that have found where they belong, but the big picture is yet to be completed.

Since then (and really, since the birth of this blog), I've muddled through the development. A part of me felt the burden of having to publish a post, regardless of whether or not I was happy with the content. Recently, I've come to realize that no such law or rule exist. It was simply an unrealistic and completely absurd pressure I placed on myself — an act not uncommon.

Armed with my "revelation," I vow to defend myself from the pressure of having to publish a post. I hope to post stories of things you may be interested in knowing and I'm excited to share. Those posts will develop organically (because I hear organic is all the rage) and be shared accordingly. Whether or not my posts will be consistent is a horse of a completely different color, but I hope to eventually find something resembling consistency. Ultimately, I guess time will tell.

Sincerely,

Cybill

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Tuning My Blogger Voice & Finding a Purpose

I've had this blog for almost two months. In that time, I've updated when I can and what I know. I've shared some stories of moments spent abroad, of things that run around in my mind and of course, news about college football. However, I still don't really know where I'm going with this blog.  I don't know where I want to go with this blog. I still don't really know what I want to accomplish with what I write and what I share with all of you.

I often weigh what stories from my past, moments in my present and hopes for my future, I should share with you readers. On one side of the scale, I'd like to keep a certain level of anonymity. I'm not about to air out my laundry — clean or otherwise. But on the other end of that scale, I know when it comes to a blog and blogging, a certain level of vulnerability and candid humor works. It lets you know I'm real and by no means do I have anything figured out.

Aside from the stories I share, I toy with the many ways to tell them. My voice, my blogging voice, my writing style and however you read these words, have a major impact on whether or not you think I'm a crap of a writer. Those opinions dictate whether you'll keep reading, whether you'll visit this page again or you'll decide to follow my blog.

At the end of the day and when we've reached the end of the road, I guess it doesn't really matter. I don't blog to gain followers. I don't think I blog to be reassured that I'm not a screw up in life. I blog in hopes that someone may feel that it's okay not to have it together. And I blog in hopes that you enjoy what I've written. Whether that means you leave my blog laughing and thinking, "This girl Cybill is a hot mess if I ever saw one," or "Damn, I wish we were friends in real life," I hope you know I'm being honest and I'm as multifaceted and can be as verbose as it may appear.

I guess, I won't have all my questions answered today and this puzzle remains unsolved. But, I'll keep on writing. I'll keep on blogging. I'll keep being a little sassy and sarcastic with a side of encouraging and endearing (at least that's what I hope y'all are getting from this). In time, maybe I'll have things figured out...then again, maybe I won't.

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Thanksgiving & College Football

Thanksgiving has come in gone, December is officially in full swing and we just had a crazy weekend of college football. In short, Alabama no longer stands on top. That spot now belongs to Florida State (holla!).

I hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! Whether you chowed down on turkey, turducken or filled up on stuffing and cranberry sauce, I hope the feeling of satisfaction from a meal was nothing compared to the gratitude for what you have.

As for me, my family and I celebrated Thanksgiving evening and the following days in Orlando. My brother arrived (surprisingly on time) from Chicago Wednesday evening, so my family of four was reunited once more. The next day — Thanksgiving — my Mom had to work (the pains of a career in the medical field) so we celebrated when she got home. After our meal, we jetted to Orlando. Orlando has some pretty awesome outlets (just in case your were wondering) and the rest of the holiday weekend including surviving the crowds (and some of cold) around some of those outlets.

However, the craziest thing to go down this weekend was of course, college football! Do y'all keep track of the madness (not to be confused with March Madness — that's basketball)? Oh my goodness, what a weekend! Rivalry weekend is always fun and this one definitely lived up. While my Seminoles may have had a rough start, they were able to get in shape and come out with a victory over the Gators. Ohio State and Michigan took it the fourth quarter, but no ending could compare to the Iron Bowl, Alabama at Auburn.

Before I continue, I should state that I have no affiliation with Alabama or Auburn. However, one of my closest friends, Colleen, would probably rank Auburn as her number two favorite team. Our mutual friend, Kristen, is an Auburn graduate. With that, I guess you can conclude that I'd side with Auburn. You can probably conclude that I didn't mind an Auburn win, especially since it'd mean my Seminoles would sit atop the rankings! And they are sitting very nicely at #1!

Some may say it isn't something to write home about. It may also feel like birthdays. You know, when you're a year older and people ask if you feel any different, but you don't... Well, I don't know about you, but #1 sure feels better than #2.

Before I say adieu, I leave you with a story...

With Carling, Liz, Kallie, Gabby & Colleen | April 2012

"'twas the night after Auburn and all through the land, not a 'Roll Tide' was uttered, by a Crimson Tide fan. — They used to be boisterous, they used to be loud, they used to be boastful, and cocky and proud. — But they lost all their swagger, they lost all their swing. For one little second had changed everything. — The score, it was even. The clock had run dry. When Nicholas Saban then started to cry. — He demanded a second be put on the clock. The worse that could happen? A miss or a block. — But fate it is fickle, and greed has a price, and what happened next just wasn't too nice. — The previous kicks, wide left and wide right. So he put in a rookie, 'twas not very bright. – The kick was a boomer of 56 yards, but the extra yard needed was not in the cards. — And back in the end zone, a lone Tiger stood. He caught that ol' football, he caught it real good. – He started to run, he heard the cheers grow. The Crimson Tide offense? Too fat and too slow. – One hundred and nine, he ran for the score. If need if could have run one hundred more. — The crowed it erupted while storming the field. The Crimson Tide's season was settled and sealed. — A cry of 'War Eagle' soon echoed the plain. Nick Saban's expressions was one of pure pain. — And up in Ohio they shouted "Go Bucks!" for it gave hope to all, well except for the Ducks. — And in Tuscaloosa you could hear a pin drop. And in Tallahassee the Tomahawk chop. — For the night after Auburn, the Tide does not roll. The new boss in town wears Garnet and Gold."

Sincerely,

Cybill 

Advice to my Former Self

Yes, the photo of the little girl above is me, way back before I could distinguish right from left and I realized I can't get by without a calculator. Driving home today, I was hit with a bit of nostalgia for my former self, specifically, the 13-year-old me.

I wasn't nostalgic to go back to middle school, I don't necessarily want to be 13 again, but I do wish I could give my 13-year-old self a hug...and some advice. You know, the kind of advice and reassurance you really needed back then. The kind of advice that resembled a slap-in-the face coming from love, of course. Just some small reality check, because at 13 and semi-self-centered, I really needed it.

To quote Cher, "If I could turn back time..."

• Hate to break it to you, but most of your friends at 13 aren't going to be your friends in your 20s. In the seventh grade, when Chelsea ostracizes you, it's a blessing, really. You'll be Facebook "friends" and you'll see her again in college, but your attempts to reconcile can be categorized a failure. It's okay. You'll understand the afternoon you go to the gym with Carling and see her.
• Regarding your crushes, Chris and Hector...jump ship now. I won't be so hard on you. You were young, naive, you didn't know any better. But don't be so dramatic, your taste will change to something far better. Keep in mind, you won't really see them again after 8th grade. 
• Middle school will end, you'll be sad and you will cry. That's okay. But be open-minded to high school. Yes, it's a private school and you won't really know anyone, but trust me, it really isn't that bad. You'll grow in your faith, you'll grow in your confidence, and you'll make some really great friends. Friends you'll still talk to in your 20s, though attending rival colleges. Trust me when I tell you, you're better off. 
• Study. You're a smart girl and you've realized you can get good grades by coasting. Don't. That'll carry over into your freshmen year of high school more than you think. 
• C'est la vie, girl! Seriously, it's life and it's going to keep going. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't occupy your time with boys and petty drama with girls that won't matter a year later. You'll learn and sooner than you think, your friends (the friends you actually still talk to) will turn to you for advice. There's a reason you've been labeled "Independent Woman of the Mountain." 

What advice do you wish you can give yourself at 13, because let's be real, who was "cool" at 13? 

Sincerely, 

Cybill

P.S. The picture included in this post is not of myself at 13. 

It's Time for a Joyful Jig

Dance like no one is watching has been the encouragement to carpe diem on the dance floor for centuries...I think. Regardless of the line's history and origin, it's time we take it to the dance floor and feel good.

Monday night, I came across a Highway Sing-Along video to Build Me Up Buttercup and I was jamming and grooving for the rest of the evening. Perhaps some of my joy can be credited to Mr. TJ Smith and his contagious spirit to sing like no one was listening, but it goes without saying, Build Me Up Buttercup just makes you want to dance and sing along.

Coasting along with my high spirits and dreaming of a way to bottle up this happy feeling for another day, I concluded, sometimes you just have to shrug and press play. Life is going to hit you with the ups and downs, the side steps and wrong steps, but if you put the right tune to it, it really isn't all that bad. I know there is some scientific data to back me up on my claim. You know, how the right music makes the body release dopamine, which makes you feel good. Then there is the added bonus of burning calories while dancing, but let's not complicate an age-old and time trusted process, let's just sing and dance!

So, get up and let me see you dance, or if you're in your office, perhaps you can just groove while you work. The seven dwarfs whistled while they worked, you can groove, don't worry, I won't tell anyone. If you need some songs to get you started, to turn those step backs into a cha-cha, to put a smile on your face, don't call Dr. Feelgood. I've created a short playlist for your joyful jig, just press play!

Sincerely, 

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Motivation for Monday

Mondays can be a little rough, but that doesn't mean they can't be a good start to a great week and sometimes all you need is someone to tell you, "You've got what it takes, you've got more than it takes!" For anyone that's going through a bit of a rough patch and you find your balance between questions and answers heavy with doubt, take a deep breath and then take another. I've been there and I'm somewhat still there.

Last week I found myself with a broken back burden with doubt. I've been traveling down a path that seems so long, but some inherent part of me, however small, tells me a I shouldn't give up, I shouldn't back down, this path, worn and barren now, will lead me somewhere great.

Teetering on the brink of tears, I turned to books and words. There's something unify in the fact that though complete strangers, separated by oceans and centuries, we all question ourselves. Some have figured it out while others went on blind faith that everything was going to be okay. Regardless of whether or not their questions marks were turned into periods and exclamation points, they persevered with their passions and I found solace and encouragement I should keep on trying as well.

I hope you keep on trying too. And may you always remember, that the passion and fire in your heart isn't there as a filler, there's a reason and that reason may very well be your purpose. May you have a great start to a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Cybill 

Playing for Payton

In light of the recent allegations against Florida State quarterback and Heisman Trophy front runner, Jameis Winston, coupled with the mess between Miami Dolphins offensive linemen Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin, it's easy to find yourself rolling your eyes and sighing.

As we live in an age of overpaid athletes, student-athlete-celebrity hybrids, public pre-Madonna tantrums it comes at no surprise when scandal stands as the leading story. But for anyone who believes in the the spirit of sports, specifically Florida State football, you know there's more to it than National Championships, Heisman Trophies and what's considered ESPN newsworthy. There's the reason guys play the game and so many people cheer for them, there's the inspiration they invoke in others and others invoke in them, and there's the story of Payton Poulin.

I share the video and story in hopes to deviate from the negative and focus on the positive reasons to play. With everything bad that can and do go on in our day-to-day, maybe leading stories should start focusing on sparking smiles instead of sighs.

I hope y'all have a great weekend! Go Noles!

Sincerely,

Cybill 

An Internal Monologue

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with yourself? Don't make that look like I'm crazy, you know what I'm talking about. One moment you're just walking, minding your own business, probably thinking of things you have to do but don't really want to do, and then, all of a sudden something catches your eye.

"Oh hey, that looks cool," is the line that starts it all.

Then a few minutes later you find yourself internally arguing whether whatever caught your eye is worth the purchase, "It IS on sale..." "Are you even going to use it? You don't need it. What are you going to do with it?" ...and that's how we all end up on a psychiatrist's couch, shelling out dollars of what could go toward our retirement fund. Just kidding...somewhat.

In all seriousness, I'm sure you can recall a time when the rational and level-headed part of your personality was urging your spontaneous, free-spirit not to jump, not to take that leap, not to buy the alarm clock just because it was cute and fuzzy. Odds are, you can also recall a time when you were convinced there was food stuck in your teeth or on the side of your face when you catch a cute stranger looking at you. Then, as if timed perfectly, you scold yourself in your decision to forgo checking yourself out in the mirror, because you don't want to be confused for narcissistic.

We've all been there. We've all done it. We've all talked ourselves out of happiness or an uptake on the confidence meter, however short and fleeting. But why?!

Why do we deny ourselves something that will do no harm and will make us happy? Why do we deny ourselves that small slice of cake? Why do we try to convince ourselves someone is out of our league?

Talking a step back and assessing the situation from the comfort zone of my laptop it's all really silly. We dress up, we show up and we look great! We work out, eat right and deserve that small slice of cake! We work hard, live within our means and one silly, just-because purchase is a small reward, and that's that. Little joys and increases of confidence is good, as along as it's in moderation and we don't let it go to heads, the same way we've let denial and a negative perspective of ourselves get into our hearts.

So the next time you catch the eye a stranger think, "I do look good today," because you look great! And the next time you find yourself debating whether or not to have a small slice of cake, Marie Antoinette that and let them (meaning you) have cake! Let's revolutionize our internal monologue to embrace that happiness that is out there for us and end the fight against ourselves, because as my favorite yoga instructor always said, "Don't fight with your body, because you will loose."

Sincerely,

Cybill

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Hitting Home

Looking back through my previous posts and reading my About page, I realized I never mentioned where I'm from, aside from the fact that I grew up and I currently live in Florida. While I do consider Florida home, it isn't where I was born, it isn't where my family is from and it isn't my motherland. That land, that small piece of Earth, the soil that nourished my history is located half way around the world and right now, it's all over the news.

My family was born in the Philippines. I was born in the Philippines. My roots are in the Philippines and now, they need help. 

As you already know, Typhoon Haiyan devastated parts of the central Philippines, leaving thousands in need. Aside from losing their homes, many lost family members and loved ones, and while losing those near and dear is enough of a burden, they have also found themselves without clean water and food. Together, we try to do what we can from where we are and with that I'm sharing some resources below. 

• Google has set up websites to help connect loved ones and request rescue. 
• The Washington Post has shared a number of organizations accepting donations to aid the Philippines in their recovery. You may find The Washington Post's list of organizations, links to their website and phone numbers here. 
• Donations to the UN World Food Programme to aid those in dire need of food and water can be made here. Donations can also be made via text.
• US: Text AID to 27722 to donate $10
• Canada: Text RELIEF to 45678 to donate $5
• UK: Text AID to 70303 to donate £3.

I am always impressed by the human spirit in difficult situations and now I'm even more grateful as this difficult situation hits home. For your continued generosity and prayers, salamat.

Sincerely, 

Cybill

London: The Game Plan & The Travel Bug

Long before I started this blog (which in reality, isn't very long at all) I knew I would have to dedicate a post (or a couple of posts) to one of my favorite city, if not my favorite city. However, I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what stories I should share and what adventures would make for the best stories, so I think I'll just start at the beginning and we'll see where the journey takes us.

Once upon a time, circa 2001, I was sitting in the front passenger seat telling my Mom the number of places I wanted to visit one day. We were heading home from Miami, driving along US 27 and we had reached the part of the day when the sun had started to set, but it wasn't blinding like it usually is on any given Florida afternoon. I remember it was overcast but I can't remember if it had rained. What I do remember is my Mom interrupting me to tell me, "Cybill, don't get married right out of college. You want to travel to all of these places and you can do that after you graduate."

That was it. It was Inception without Leonardo DiCaprio and I ran with it. I caught it, tucked it under my arm and ran it in for a 97 yard touchdown. Victory dance! Then I discovered fire... Okay, not really, but I did discover a way to begin traveling before graduating college. That game plan and the play called, studying abroad. 

Fast forward to summer 2008 and college orientation. We were given a booklet of meetings and presentations set up by faculty and students describing anything from "How to Talk to Your Professor" to "The Best Ways to Manage Your Time." My parents suggested I attend a few of those, but there was one presentation I insisted we attend, no contest. After circling the presentation summary a number of times and under what some countries might consider duress (just kidding), we were in. We were sitting in the auditorium and I knew studying abroad was going to be my gateway into Europe.

The idea of traveling, planted years ago was only a companion to the travel bug that was dormant since birth. However, that afternoon, sitting in that auditorium, it crept and crawled it's way into light and my hopes of traveling the world would become realized. Little did I know the length of my checklist...

Sincerely,

Cybill

Home of the Free, Because of the Brave

As today marks Veteran's Day, I just wanted to give a small shout out to the brave men and women who do what they do and the brave souls who did what they did. In the busy day-to-day, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle of life, often forgetting the opportunities we consider inherent to being a human. But that isn't the case everywhere and wasn't always the case here. So today, even if only for a minute, I'll pause in gratitude, that I am able to call home the land of the free, because of the brave. I invite to join me.

Happy Veteran's Day!

Sincerely,

Cybill

College Football: A Love Affair

No, thank YOU, Stanford. | November 7, 2013

As someone who is emotionally invested in Florida State Football, I quickly learned the messy love affair that is college football.

Last night, a number of Seminole fans (myself included) huddled around televisions to cheer on the Stanford Cardinals as they played the Oregon Ducks. The Nole Nation was invested in this game, as a Stanford victory was a step closer to a BCS National Championship game between Alabama and Florida State. That investment and that support from Nole Nation was obvious scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed with so many Seminoles going as CardiNoles that evening, but it also lead me to wonder, How many times have I hoped a team would fall short one evening only to cheer for them later in the season?

In retrospect, I can't count the number of games I've watched when I found myself glancing at another screen (or channel) to check on another game. However, I do recall moments during FSU home games when they'd update the crowd with scores from other games going on around the country. In those moments, the crowd would hoot and holler when outcomes were in our favor and of course, whenever the Gators were falling behind.

Now, I'm not going to go into the complexity of college football, the rankings -- AP Poll, Coaches Poll, BCS -- and how a team's record, coupled with their conference determines who and when they play. However, I will say it's the reason for the love affair, it's the reason you cheer for other teams and it's probably the reason it's so much fun.

There's a certain level of friendly rivalry and camaraderie within college football. I will go ahead and admit, while I'll cheer for an ACC team whenever they play out of our conference, I won't cheer for them when they play Florida State, but I believe it's that small link that ties college fans together. No matter where you are in the season and whom you may be playing that evening, it won't always be a lose-hate relationship and it may very well be the only accepted love affair.

I hope y'all have a great weekend and may your football team(s) take home a victory. Go Noles!

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

The Company You Keep

As the saying goes, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." I don't discredit whomever may have coined the term and the number of people who quoted it, but to certain extent, you can pick your family. 

It's the first wedding, but definitely not the last party. | September 14, 2013

Now, I'm not talking about your biological family, but I am talking about the friends that become your family. Specifically, the friends you carry with throughout your life, the friends that grow with you and grow up with you.

I found that special group of people in college. In those four to five years we spent "figuring things out" and enjoying some new found freedom, we learned lessons and they weren't always in a classroom. Some of us learned how to mend a broken heart, others learned how to mend wounded knees and some of us learned the art of getting through a north Florida "winter." Then there is the invaluable lesson of the company we kept and the special place they'll have in our heart forever. Together we formed bonds, created memories and laughed with (and at times at) each other, piecing together what forever will be our college years.

For all you twenty-somethings out there, I'm sure you're picking up what I'm putting down. You're probably thinking of your group of friends, your go-tos, your ride or die, your family away from home. Maybe you've known this group since you were kids in elementary school or, like me, they are a group of individuals you didn't have the pleasure of meeting until college. However, you can't imagine your future with out them.

FSU Graduation | April 2012

They've impacted you. You've learned with them and from them. You've laughed, you've cried and hopefully, you've cried because your were laughing so much. Along with your family (your real family), they're people you picture surrounding you during the big moments in your future: marriage, kids, job promotions, cross-country moves...

Finding this group and weeding out the ones that don't stick can cause some heart ache and some drama. At times you may wonder if everyone is stuck in the high school, teenage, drama-driven mentality.  It's work and it's hard work, but it's great work. It's holding someone's hand through a crowded bar so you don't loose each other. It's picking up your roommate from the gym so she doesn't have to walk home dazed, because she didn't eat before she worked out. It's the "text me when you get there so I know you're safe" yell down the hall. It's the effort, it's the laughs and it's the love...and it's what makes them your family.

Kallie Lamb's 21st Birthday | September 2011

You're going to but heads, you're going to disagree, you're going to call each other out on chewing too loud they can't hear the television (true story by the way), but you're going to know there's no malice behind it. You're going to know is from a sacred place in their heart, a place that you and you alone can fill.  
Just as you have carved out your own nook they'll carve out their own cranny. They'll build bookshelves and line those shelves with snapshots of some of your greatest memories. Those snapshots will bookend rows of novels filled with great adventures and a dynamic ensemble. 
You want to know the best part? You'll be part of those stories. 
Then, months or years down whichever road you've all traveled, you'll find yourself sitting quietly and reaching for something nestled on a bookshelf. The memories will fill you and a smile will find its way below your nose and above your chin. You'll remember where you were and the moments that made you laugh, but most importantly, you'll remember with whom you shared those moments and who was laughing next to you. You'll pause and be grateful that it's the company you'll have moving forward, because it's the best kind of company to keep. 
Sincerely,   Cybill 

Recommended Reading

They can say what they want about people who assume, but I'm going to assume most, if not all of you, enjoy reading, to a certain extent at least. I'm going to go ahead even further and assume that just like myself, when you read something you really enjoy or something by someone close to you, you share it. 

You can call it spreading positivity, enlightenment or just the simple act of sharing, but I thought I'd share a little something with all of you. I thought I'd share something I read with my recommendation that you definitely read it. (Hence the post title.)

Most of these, whether they're a blog posts, an article or what-have-yous, I came across online. Some I bookmarked, others I forwarded to a friend and then, there are some forwarded to me. It's an intricate web linking minds through shared reading, an instant library with no due dates and late fees, it's the modern day spread of knowledge. I like to consider it something like a free education (unless you want to calculate the fees for electricity and wi-fi, but let's not get too technical).

At the same time, let's get things going. Without further ado, below are a few things I read that are definitely worth your time. I hope you're able to take something from it, even if it's just a fleeting chuckle or a half smile from a pull at your heartstrings. Ultimately, I hope you enjoy your read and your views on my literary prowess aren't too beneath you.

• Happy Wife, Crazy Army Life: I've mentioned my dear friend Colleen in a previous post. In this post, I'm happy to mention her as a fellow blogger. She recently started a blog to share her new life as a wife and an army wife at that. Living a few thousand miles northwest, she's embracing life and kind enough to share it with us. For any Florida State Seminole fans out there, you'd probably appreciate her latest post and can relate it on a number of levels. 
• Marriage Isn't For You: Now, before you mark this one as sounding too cynical for your palette, I definitely think you should give a try, a once over, a skim of sorts. You may be surprised as it isn't exactly what you'd expect. As PR goes, I saw this link appear on my Facebook newsfeed a couple of times, but it wasn't until my friend, Christine, sent it to me that had me reading it. I wasn't disappointed and I hope you won't be as well.
• What She Doesn't Know Will Kill You: I first came across this article years ago, I must have been in middle school, but as years have come and gone, this has always stayed in the back of my mind. I can't tell you exactly why it's been etched into my brain, forever cataloged as one of my favorite reads, but it has and thus, this piece by Matt Brochu is worthy of sharing. 

I hope y'all enjoyed your reads! What do you have cataloged as your recommended reads?

Sincerely,

Cybill

{Photo Credit}

Dance Dance My November Prance

I have to confess, I pranced my way into November. I guess you can say I'm happy to see November has finally arrived, but not in the sense that I wanted to see October go.

November just holds so much anticipation. It's the lead up to Christmas. The stores start stacking their shelves with holiday items adorned in the merry red and green and buzz of early Christmas shoppers is starting to build. It's the excitement you first experience as a child, except, I never grew out of it and I hope I never will. 

As the beginning of the holiday season, the airports get a little busier with loved ones coming and going. The receptions at the arrival gate is showered with hugs and kisses from lovers with longing hearts. Everything just seems better this time of year and if they aren't, everything seems like they're not too far off. 

This November, I hope you're overwhelmed with the warm and fuzzy feelings that come this time of year. I hope you're surrounded by friends and family, kept warm by the ones you love and the only thing that hurts are your cheeks, from your countless hours of smiling. 

Happy November!

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

{Photo Credit}

When Paris Calls You By Name, Pt. 2

In a previous post, my nostalgia for Paris had me sharing some pictures from my short trip when I was studying abroad in London. Though my Parisian adventure was short, so many memories were made and so many pictures were taken that I still wanted to share. So, here we are, part deux!

We took the train from London to Paris and once we arrived, we hopped on a bus and we're given the grand ol' tour. There were snaps and shutters from everyone's camera, but I wanted off! I wanted to see Paris, in the flesh and with my own eyes. I have seen Paris in movies and in books, and at that moment, it was just a pane of glass keeping me from my Parisian affair.

Finally, the bus pulled over and we were set free! Some beelined it for the food cart while others snapped away upon eyeing the Eiffel Tower. Me? I took a deep breath in, so this is Paris! 

With Kristen, Colleen and Adam, jumping for joy in the fact that we're no longer on a train or bus. | February 2010

After dropping off our bags and settling in to our hotel which was located in the Bastille District, we headed off to our next adventure. The GCs (graduate counselors, similar to RAs) told us they were going to the Louvre and we were welcomed to join. Being in a new city and still unfamiliar with how to navigate the Paris metro, we welcomed the guidance and followed like little ducklings.

The Louvre, beautiful! It comes at no surprise considering the number of paintings, sculptures and artifacts that call that place home. There were many, many, many, many, many paintings, tapestries, pots, sculptures, etc... You're picking up what I'm putting down, there was a lot to see, but you can't go to the Louvre not see Her Majesty, and I'm not talking about the Queen. 

After a bit of searching, we finally found Her. We found the Mona Lisa...and so did a number of other people. She was getting so much love and attention, it almost seemed everything else was being forgotten so Colleen decided to spread the love. I mean, we were in the city of love after all. 

Mona from a distance. | February 2010

Colleen spreading the love. | February 2010

You can see what I mean with the crowd. Everyone loves Mona! Thankfully, that just meant everything else wasn't as crowded or as noisy.

Snap! Snap! Mona Lisa's many admirers and an idea of how far you really are from her. | February 2010

Louvre Museum from the inside out. | February 2010

A little blurry, but again, the Louvre, from the inside out. | February 2010

After touring the Louvre (it's HUGE by the way, and I'm sure we didn't even get to half of it) we took the party outside. The Louvre outside at night glitters like fool's gold. The way the lights bounce off the water it makes the architecture glow, and after a few moments in awe, I thought I'd just plop right down where I was standing and admire it all as if it were a fireworks show on the 4th of July!

A blurry Louvre. | February 2010

One of my favorite personal photos. | February 2010

A little tired & very dazzled. | February 2010

My friends and I then took to the Eiffel Tower and enjoyed its grandeur at night. It was just as magnificent as the Louvre and it sparkled unlike it did when we first saw it that day. With that in mind, I knew we had to return to the Louvre to enjoy it in the morning light, and so we did!

Eiffel Tower by night. | February 2010

Eiffel Tower by day. | February 2010

Eiffel Tower from under and up. | February 2010

Just in case you were wondering, the Louvre is beautiful during the day too. It's a great place for pictures of you, of your friends and of the architecture. So when you're there, definitely grab a coffee, sit back and relax. It's also a great place to people watch.

Outside the Louvre. | February 2010

Another one of my favorite personal photos of the Louvre. | February 2010

Early one evening, my friends and I grabbed our museum passes (definitely recommended) and took to to the Musée d'Orsay. Can you guess it was once a train station? A beautiful one at that, too. The Musée d'Orsay also had work from one of my favorite artists, Edgar Degas. I was a fan of his since I was little and my favorite spot on the barre in my old dance studio was always under a print of one of his many ballerinas.

The beautiful Musée d' Orsay. | February 

Musée d'Orsay. | February 2010

Little Dancer of Fourteen Years. | February 2010

No trip to Paris is complete without a visit to the Cathédral Notre Dame de Paris and perhaps the trek upstairs to enjoy the view. Since it's been a few years, I don't remember if my friends and I trekked to the top before enjoying the beauty of the cathedral or the other way around, but if (and maybe when) I have to do it again, I think I'll trek and then enjoy the grandeur inside, as if it were a bit of a reward. Then again, the view from the top is a reward of its own.

Cathédral Notre Dame de Paris by sunset. | February 2010

Looking up. | February 2010

Say a little prayer for me. | February 2010

Can you hear the angels sing? | February 2010

We shared a view. | February 2010

Sacre Coeur from a distance. | February 2010

Adam, Kristen, Colleen, Katie and I, enjoying the view once we made it to the top. | February 2010

Paris really was an amazing trip and there's a reason why it's a European hot spot. Of course there's the culture, the history, the architecture and the museums filled with classics, but there's also something else. Something indescribable. Something intangible. Something you need to experience on your own so you can define it for yourself. I don't say that to be selfish by keeping the magic I found in Paris all to myself, but more so in the fact that what it is, whatever it is, I can't really put to words. It's different to different people, but I definitely think it's something worth defining on your own or with those that live in your heart.

With Kristen and Colleen | February 2010

We were having so much fun taking jumping pictures, some wanted to join. Versailles Palace | February 2010

I hope y'all enjoying the picture heavy posts and I hope you feel inspired to travel to Paris or just to travel! Traveling really is an amazing thing and I think Anthony Bourdain says it nicely, "Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life -- and travel -- leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks -- on your body or on your heart -- are beautiful."

Where are you planning to travel? What's your destination and your adventure?

Sincerely,

Cybill

P.S.
To all the trick-or-treaters and those with a heart in Halloween, Happy Halloween!