Lessons For My Daughter

When you start college...

It's August, which only means one thing (okay, two if you count the beginning of the college football season). School is right around the corner and many young girls are packing their bags to begin the wild ride that is college. One day, you'll be packed and nervously excited, awaiting the beginning of amazing expedition. Thinking back to my four years are Florida State University, it's hard to say what I loved most and hold as my deepest regret. But last night, when my roommate asked me for some advice she can share with her cousin, it got me thinking about some of the best takeaways unearthed outside the classroom.

1. Low maintenance friends of high quality are the best friends. The amount of push and pull that happens within the span of four years can be daunting. The pressures of deciding a career path, pursuing goals and embracing the mistakes that turns into lessons are best managed with a group of friends that just get you — no make-up, no fuss, no inhibitions. Find them. Trust in them. Grow with them. Finding the right people who will frame your memories without cluttering the picture is a true treasure and a gem to be kept forever.

2. Study abroad. Study abroad for a semester, for the summer or for the whole year. Live, grow and learn in a new country with different smells, different languages and different people. There is a lot of stretching, leaning and yearning in college and in your early twenties. Do it in a different country and collect stories of places far from home. I'll miss you, but I know the growing you'll do abroad will open and fill your eyes with spark to better see the world and live your passion.

3. Go out on a school night. Alright, this one I advise with some reservation, but I will say, it's okay to go out on a school night. You're young, so do it now while you're body can still rally the next day. When you have an exam the next day, it's probably best to stay in (though it isn't completely off the table). I trust your judgement and trust me, you'll always be surprised by the people you meet and the relationships that form on those random school nights out.

4. Go beyond the college town. Drive two hours west to go camping. You've flown halfway around the world to surround yourself with the unfamiliar and continue to do that in any way possible. It probably won't be the same. It won't have the same kind of sparkle, but it'll open your eyes to something beyond the every day. Tell yourself you're going to do this and then do it.

5. Live for now, but work for tomorrow. Live and study. It's a balance. It's a give and take, a push and pull that will take a little while to fully grasp. But learn how to do everything you want to do and everything you have to do early. There will be sacrifices, but at the end of your four years in college, if properly done, you'll have a great future to look forward to and great friends to share it with as you reminisce on great memories.

Sincerely,

Cybill

Little Things

It's crazy how the little things in life can cause joy and anger. Little things and simple things can take their toll and lighten the load. It's all mad and it's magic. This morning it took a bit of effort for me to really focus on the wonder than the worry. It took a couple deep breaths, but I'm always amazed at the results when you defend the silver lining.

In light of my get-up-and-dance mood, I thought I'd share some of my little things in life — of the happy variety.

1. Listening to the right song. The kind of song that causes you dance in your chair (or get up and dance), smile and take a deep breath, because life is good and everything is going to be okay. 
2. A kind word. The smallest compliment at the right time during a rough day can do wonders for the mind, body, soul and spirit. Keep those kind words handy, because sometimes, you'll have to be your own messager and the receiver. 
3. A photo of something funny, of something heartwarming or simply, someone that makes you smile. It's always great to have a photo of some sort in your back pocket, but today, stumbling upon a photo definitely brought a smile to my face. 
4. Someone who'll ask you what's wrong and listen, really listen. These people are few and far between, but when you find them, hold onto them, because they are the good people. 
5. Laughing, at anything and everything. Pretending to laugh just to get yourself to start laughing works as well. Granted, you might come off a little crazy, but when you need to bounce back, you do what you have to do to bounce back. 

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! 

Sincerely, 

Cybill 

{GIF Credit}

Advice to my Former Self

Yes, the photo of the little girl above is me, way back before I could distinguish right from left and I realized I can't get by without a calculator. Driving home today, I was hit with a bit of nostalgia for my former self, specifically, the 13-year-old me.

I wasn't nostalgic to go back to middle school, I don't necessarily want to be 13 again, but I do wish I could give my 13-year-old self a hug...and some advice. You know, the kind of advice and reassurance you really needed back then. The kind of advice that resembled a slap-in-the face coming from love, of course. Just some small reality check, because at 13 and semi-self-centered, I really needed it.

To quote Cher, "If I could turn back time..."

• Hate to break it to you, but most of your friends at 13 aren't going to be your friends in your 20s. In the seventh grade, when Chelsea ostracizes you, it's a blessing, really. You'll be Facebook "friends" and you'll see her again in college, but your attempts to reconcile can be categorized a failure. It's okay. You'll understand the afternoon you go to the gym with Carling and see her.
• Regarding your crushes, Chris and Hector...jump ship now. I won't be so hard on you. You were young, naive, you didn't know any better. But don't be so dramatic, your taste will change to something far better. Keep in mind, you won't really see them again after 8th grade. 
• Middle school will end, you'll be sad and you will cry. That's okay. But be open-minded to high school. Yes, it's a private school and you won't really know anyone, but trust me, it really isn't that bad. You'll grow in your faith, you'll grow in your confidence, and you'll make some really great friends. Friends you'll still talk to in your 20s, though attending rival colleges. Trust me when I tell you, you're better off. 
• Study. You're a smart girl and you've realized you can get good grades by coasting. Don't. That'll carry over into your freshmen year of high school more than you think. 
• C'est la vie, girl! Seriously, it's life and it's going to keep going. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't occupy your time with boys and petty drama with girls that won't matter a year later. You'll learn and sooner than you think, your friends (the friends you actually still talk to) will turn to you for advice. There's a reason you've been labeled "Independent Woman of the Mountain." 

What advice do you wish you can give yourself at 13, because let's be real, who was "cool" at 13? 

Sincerely, 

Cybill

P.S. The picture included in this post is not of myself at 13. 

A Lesson In...The Bigger Picture

St. George Island, Florida | January 2012

"Patience child, patience. Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there'd be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you'll see these 'set backs' as giant leaps forward, only you couldn't see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain clam, all is within reach; all you have to do is show up everyday, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek." 

-- Jackson Kiddard

My friend, Vassi, and I seem to have a reoccurring conversation, and more often than not, we're brought to the topic of our anxiety for the unknown and our expectations for our future. Like most girls, we've daydreamed about our future weddings, how our husbands' would look and the names of our children. But we're also concerned with our careers, the path we're taking and whether what we're doing right now, is what we're suppose to be doing. 

Looking back as we work our way through our twenties, it's plain to see our lives have been mapped out until now. In elementary school, we knew high school would be when we felt the freedom at came with earning a driver's license. In high school, we knew college would bring freedom of being on our own. However, now that college is behind us, we've asked each other, "What's next?" "What now?"

For some, the road they drive along and the path they follow means graduate school. Right now, Vassi is in medical school, however, I am on a road to what I hope will be an inspiring career in Public Relations. Yet, I'm still left with doubt.

Not too long ago I found myself sitting at my desk questioning, "Is that what I really want to do?" Right off the bat, I knew that was bad sign. It's one thing to be uninspired and it's another to be uninspired and doubtful. Thus, not too long after, I said my goodbyes and left New York City to return home. 

Surrounded by family and friends, blanketed by the warmth of the Florida sunshine, I got a good dose of words that I needed and wanted to hear. I'm also getting a good dose in the lesson of patience and traveling the journey of life.

The set back of being unemployed is unfortunate and I would never wish that burden on anyone. But just as Jackson Kiddard says these "sets backs" are giant leaps forward, and I'm learning just that. While where I am right now isn't where I had hoped to be, what I've done leading up to this moment, to today, they're things I've always wanted to do.

I was able to travel to Hawaii and New Zealand. I got to fly Business Class (it's nice how the other half flies, by the way). I got to see family I haven't seen in ten years and meet a cousin I had never met!

In terms of the bigger picture, these are the strokes I want to paint, these are the colors I want to use, and I hope, as I continue down this path, it'll be a picture I'll be proud to call my life.

What "set backs" have turned out to be beautiful strokes in your bigger picture?

Sincerely,

Cybill